I agree except that even at 65 a person can WTFU and enjoy what is left of their life.The big question is why are you accepting such a ****ty life.
You are your biggest problem.
I can tell you this. It comes up here quite often. Lots of excuses but the reality is there are none.
You want more out of life then divorce his ass and find it.
You can read all the books, kiss his ass, etc, etc, etc. there'll be zero long term change. None!!!!
His is who he is and will always be.
There is a guy who posted yesterday (look thru the posts) and in this same situation for 20 years now. Looking for help? Hell He's 65. There is no help. He's done!!!!
That's where you'll end up to unless you get the backbone to make a decision.
I had a 20 year UNfulfilling relationship and had nothing but excuses for why I "couldn't" leave him. I was definitely my biggest problem. Bottom line was I was just being weak and lacking courage.
People would say "just leave" and I'd be like "but... how?" and then I learned how. You just do it. You say the unthinkable: "I'm leaving you." and you endure the discomfort of their unhappiness and you. just. leave. And don't look back.