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Did you desire to have a family

  • Never truly desired a family

    Votes: 5 23.8%
  • The desire came with age

    Votes: 3 14.3%
  • Always desired--cultural conditioning (relatives, religion, et al.)

    Votes: 2 9.5%
  • Always desired--autonomously

    Votes: 11 52.4%
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Discussion Starter #1
Jeff Foxworthy had a famous monologue:

"You wake up one morning, you're staring at a mortgage, two kids, and a mini van going "How'd the hell this happen? I was just trying to get laid!"
Men, how many of you actually had a realization, before age 30-35, that you wanted a classic family? We all know some women whose friends' posting of pictures of houses and kids causes almost-physical pain if they don't have the same; has that ever happened to you? If so, what factors contributed to this worldview?
 

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Nope. Never desired a family or kids.

Never regretted not having kids.

If I want quality time with a child, I am the cool Uncle on the Harley that does stuff followed by "and don't tell your Mom and Dad I let you do that".:FIREdevil:

When I die, I'll leave nothing but footprints, and I'm fine with that.

Yea, I know what my screen name is, it's not about kids.
 

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Never really wanted a family, my wife was trying to push for commitment for ages in the past, but I kept holding her off until the baby bells rang. Ever since then, my life has been a constant "WTF?" moment.

But I don't regret anything, and there is joy in family life. Still, the WTF moments get to me from time to time when I look back and wonder how I managed from being a simple laid back bloke with no career to becoming a family man with a business of my own.
 

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I'm not a guy, but I will say that my husband, back when we were dating, brought up the talk about family/having children before I ever did. He's wanted to be a dad for a while and knew this since his mid-twenties. I think a lot of his view point is from his upbringing and traditional views. His culture is very family oriented. We weren't really planning to have our family for at least another year, but that plan didn't work out so well. We're both excited/nervous about it.
 

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My husband was the one who wanted the classic family. To me all that domesticity scared the crap out of me. But in the end he won. We have a house in the burbs, a minivan and 3 kids. LOL

I did stall and so we started late - first baby wasn't born until I was 34 but it all worked out.
 

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Jeff Foxworthy had a famous monologue:



Men, how many of you actually had a realization, before age 30-35, that you wanted a classic family? We all know some women whose friends' posting of pictures of houses and kids causes almost-physical pain if they don't have the same; has that ever happened to you? If so, what factors contributed to this worldview?
A few years ago I found an art project from the second grade. The teacher asked us to answer the following question, and accompany it with a drawing:

"What would you do with a million dollars"?

8 year old J's response?

"Get married and take my wife on a beautiful honeymoon".

So yeah, I wanted to get married pretty much my entire life. I was a romantic at heart, even as a kid. I remember wanting a great love, the "soulmate" kind. I actually use to pray about it, even back in middle school. I just thought the idea of this singular, powerful romance was so enticing. While other guys wanted to get as much ***** as possible, my dreams were always that ONE girl.

I am happy to say that I got everything I wanted in this respect, and then some.
 

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Me & mine talked about having a family early on -years before we married, he was totally on board.. he knew I felt cheated with my family.. I didn't like being an only child, I envied those who had Large families, I wanted that close knit chaos for my life / for our life. If he was a man who wasn't into that, I would have let him go & searched for another....it was THAT monumental to me. Some things are just written on your
.

I knew he would make a wonderful loving Father... we were always on the same page in this. He also knew a little girl was my greatest desire ...beings I missed that Mother /daughter thing growing up -- so I'd want to keep going till I had one.

We were never the partying type, we were home bodies, so this was perfect for our lifestyle...we wanted the country so they could roam in the woods , he built them 2 story play houses, we always took family vacations, we tried to give them the world.

We agreed on at least 3 kids before we ever walked down the aisle, but ended up with 6 - all in trying to get that little sweetheart...then we thought we'll try to give her a sister. Oh well. No regrets ~ love them all - even though our littlest one got detention for the 2nd time this year (he is only in kidnergarten)!

 

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Hm...well, I think it depends on the thing.

Like, do I want a family? Now? HELL NO! (Guess how old I am...)

But here is what gets to me:
I still have to live at home and see my parents fight, and go to community college with people that don't really want to be there.

While I see my friends all having fun at college. Joining frats, doing frat stuff (don't know what that is), having room mates, getting an actual college experience. That does kinda hurt. I always hear about the great college experience, and realize that I probably won't get to experience it.
And it is something that I do want.

Will it be the same when my friends all start getting married (if they do) I don't know.
I haven't heard the greatest...things about marriage, so probably not. But I always hear great things about the college experience.
But guess I'll find out.
 

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Never wanted marriage or kids till I met stbxh. That changed my whole world; when you love someone, its easy to want to spend your life with that person. Having to recover now from the collapse of it just sucks. I feel the desire for a home and kids I never thought I wanted and it haunts me and taunts me at once.
 

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I always figured I would, it's kind of expected. When we got married and bought our first house we bought with the expectation of kids. (In hindsight that house would have been a disaster.) But first we want time to ourselves, no rush, she was only 30. Every few years we would discuss it, the answer no, not now, things are great as is. About 6 years in we had a final talk, it was now or never, only 1 yes/now vote needed. 14 years after that talk we both don't regret not having kids.
 

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I always figured I would, it's kind of expected. When we got married and bought our first house we bought with the expectation of kids. (In hindsight that house would have been a disaster.) But first we want time to ourselves, no rush, she was only 30. Every few years we would discuss it, the answer no, not now, things are great as is. About 6 years in we had a final talk, it was now or never, only 1 yes/now vote needed. 14 years after that talk we both don't regret not having kids.
I am in my early 30's and feel I am getting too old to have kids. I also feel that if I never have kids, my life will never be complete and will never be truly happy. Everyone is different though.
 

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I am in my early 30's and feel I am getting too old to have kids. I also feel that if I never have kids, my life will never be complete and will never be truly happy. Everyone is different though.
Yeah, I guess it depends on your background. My mother had me and my two younger siblings between the ages of 33-38. Well over half my aunts, on both sides, had children into their 30's and 40's. My wife's mother had her at 30, and her second child at 38. My wife and I are in our early 30's, and we're not working on kids, and don't feel any kind of pressure because of our age. Having kids in this decade is just our normal.
 

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Yeah, I guess it depends on your background. My mother had me and my two younger siblings between the ages of 33-38. Well over half my aunts, on both sides, had children into their 30's and 40's. My wife's mother had her at 30, and her second child at 38. My wife and I are in our early 30's, and we're not working on kids, and don't feel any kind of pressure because of our age. Having kids in this decade is just our normal.
I just remember having parents and grandparents that were younger and did fun things and were still very active in life. I want my children to be able to experience that. If I were to have children now, their grandparents would be a lot older than mine were.
 
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