Hi all,
Read some great advice and tough tales so far.
Looking for a little help for myself.
I'll try to be brief as possible.
Married just over 10 years to a beautiful woman that I am still wildly attracted to and is even getting hotter with age. We have two children, 9 and 5. They are wonderful, polite, and caring kids. We get many compliments on their behavior. However, they are also very needy. Mommy this, and mommy that. It seems like 99% of my wife's homelife is devoted to their care. That is great, and I help as much as I can and when I am allowed to help. Just when I think they are getting to an age where we can have some husband and wife time (relaxing, enjoying each other's company, maybe even sex) they have become night owls. Bedtime stretches from 8pm until as late as 11pm. I find it to be ridiculous and a serious problem for them and us. The oldest can't sleep, cries, and even becomes nauseous in the later hours (this is more recent). Its concerning, but also appears psychological. My wife tends to their every need and doesn't see the issue the same way I do.
On top of everything else she doesn't feel sexual. Hasn't since the birth of the youngest. She has had some pain in her lower stomach and we've had her checked and scanned for everything to no avail.
I try to be affectionate. There is never a good time. Even a kiss feels like I am invading her space.
I have come to the conclusion that I am extremely needy myself. Part of my needs are also to give myself completely to her, but she doesn't have time to accept it.
It is killing me emotionally and affecting every part of my life (professionally and personally). I am normally a bit moody, but I sometimes wonder what came first.
Divorce isn't an option. I am far from giving up.
Cheating isn't an option. No woman can hold a candle to my wife.
I just have no idea what to do?
I know what I want. I ask her what she wants and she is either unsure or says "time" for herself or to relax. She says that when she can have peace she may be more inclined to show affection. I often reply with asking, even begging, for a kiss or a hug or just cuddling up on the couch to watch a sit-com.
I know in time enough of these quality moments will build to something more but I'm not even seeing any attempts to start the little stuff. I always offer to help cook, bath the kids, etc. But she has her way and I am apparently too inept to accomplish these tasks. Sounds like a martyr.
I guess that wasn't that brief.
Any thoughts or help is always appreciated.
Mr. "currently half empty" Bucket
Read some great advice and tough tales so far.
Looking for a little help for myself.
I'll try to be brief as possible.
Married just over 10 years to a beautiful woman that I am still wildly attracted to and is even getting hotter with age. We have two children, 9 and 5. They are wonderful, polite, and caring kids. We get many compliments on their behavior. However, they are also very needy. Mommy this, and mommy that. It seems like 99% of my wife's homelife is devoted to their care. That is great, and I help as much as I can and when I am allowed to help. Just when I think they are getting to an age where we can have some husband and wife time (relaxing, enjoying each other's company, maybe even sex) they have become night owls. Bedtime stretches from 8pm until as late as 11pm. I find it to be ridiculous and a serious problem for them and us. The oldest can't sleep, cries, and even becomes nauseous in the later hours (this is more recent). Its concerning, but also appears psychological. My wife tends to their every need and doesn't see the issue the same way I do.
On top of everything else she doesn't feel sexual. Hasn't since the birth of the youngest. She has had some pain in her lower stomach and we've had her checked and scanned for everything to no avail.
I try to be affectionate. There is never a good time. Even a kiss feels like I am invading her space.
I have come to the conclusion that I am extremely needy myself. Part of my needs are also to give myself completely to her, but she doesn't have time to accept it.
It is killing me emotionally and affecting every part of my life (professionally and personally). I am normally a bit moody, but I sometimes wonder what came first.
Divorce isn't an option. I am far from giving up.
Cheating isn't an option. No woman can hold a candle to my wife.
I just have no idea what to do?
I know what I want. I ask her what she wants and she is either unsure or says "time" for herself or to relax. She says that when she can have peace she may be more inclined to show affection. I often reply with asking, even begging, for a kiss or a hug or just cuddling up on the couch to watch a sit-com.
I know in time enough of these quality moments will build to something more but I'm not even seeing any attempts to start the little stuff. I always offer to help cook, bath the kids, etc. But she has her way and I am apparently too inept to accomplish these tasks. Sounds like a martyr.
I guess that wasn't that brief.
Any thoughts or help is always appreciated.
Mr. "currently half empty" Bucket
