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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So i was feelling really ill so my fiance is being all nice i wake up go downstairs and he is jacking off to porn...i get upset saying wtf and he says what is the big deal i was horney u were sick..so here is what i am angry about..he seems to not give a crap im ill and all he was concerned about was getting his pleasure no concern for me..am i wrong to be upset
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I would say yes, you are wrong to be upset

was he ignoring you all day so he could jack off, or did he just have a 30 minute or so break to relieve some stress.

You say he was being all nice, which sounds like he had been caring for you and just wanted a little personal pleasurable time.

You're over reacting.

So i was feelling really ill so my fiance is being all nice i wake up go downstairs and he is jacking off to porn...i get upset saying wtf and he says what is the big deal i was horney u were sick..so here is what i am angry about..he seems to not give a crap im ill and all he was concerned about was getting his pleasure no concern for me..am i wrong to be upset
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Well i apologized for overeacting now he will not talk to me ..
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Well if she is sick of course she is going to be cranky. OP I personally see nothing wrong with a man masterbating if his wife is unable to help relieve him. I too think you over reacted, especially if he has been caring for you all day.
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
[Not cranky at all..he is the one angry not me vQUOTE=Interlocutor;1255084]I'd be pretty pissed if my wife snapped at me for no reason... Leave him alone for a little bit.

You sound seriously cranky... Sounds like your problem, not his.
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He's angry because he feels ashamed for doing what he did because of the way you reacted.

Masturbation is natural and normal. Porn CAN cause a problem, but that doesn't always happen. If your sexlife is good and he treats you like a whole woman, then I wouldn't see a problem.

Was he taking care of you while sick? Or was he bugging you for sex while you were sick?
 

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[Not cranky at all..he is the one angry not me vQUOTE=Interlocutor;1255084]I'd be pretty pissed if my wife snapped at me for no reason... Leave him alone for a little bit.

You sound seriously cranky... Sounds like your problem, not his.
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Looks like you're having some trouble posting...

I think I gather from here that you are not cranky, which debunks the law that all sick people must of course be cranky, and that he has stayed angry with you...

I think you should simply and in a friendly way tell him that you guys misunderstood each other... Tell him you are not angry at him at all, and that since he is the only one angry at you, he should cheer up so that you guys can get along since, again, no one is really upset at the other anyway... I'm guessing he should relax and you guys can have a great evening... Hope you feel better.
 

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The anger no doubt comes from being shamed. No-one reacts well to that.

Why were you so angry? Really?

Do you have an existing 'NO porn' policy in your home?
 

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Short answer: yes, you were wrong.

Ask yourself - Is he a man?

If the answer is yes, then with no more information you can answer the question of whether or not he sometimes masturbates to pornography with 99% accuracy.

As an internationally known sex advice columnist would put it, if you're a woman with an issue with pornography, everything works best when he pretends not to view it and you pretend to believe him.
 

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Some people have problem with porn while others do not.

My husband was not happy I watched a free video I received when I bought some new toys. I watched it for 2 minutes and threw it in our toy box in case he wanted to watch it. It's still in there not touched since.

Porn is not for me and it's not for my hubby either. I'm very fine with that. I do think masterbating is normal for most people.

You probably overreacted a little, but now he knows your uncomfortable with porn.

I hope you feel better soon. It's not fun being sick. I have such a high drive that being sick does not stop us from having sex, we won't kiss each other on the mouth until we are better.
 

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I don't think there is anything wrong with him getting his rocks on with himself like this -- unless he's a recovering porn addict and this violates his healing, or, porn goes against y'all's marital boundaries and he's exploiting your ill downtime to sneak a little something something on the side. Just because you are ill and miserable doesn't mean that he has to be miserable, too. Getting angry about this seems like an overreaction. Apologize sincerely and then just leave him alone until he is ready to accept the apology and get along again.

Of course, if you are seriously ill (& this isn't just a virus or something) and he is your caretaker and being negligent at your expense, then, make some time to talk to him about your needs and feelings, honestly and openly. Otherwise, take a step back and look at the bigger picture because you are BOTH individuals with needs and not servants of each other bound solely to a function of marriage that has become routine or expected. If it's the porn itself that bugs you, wait till you're both past this little storm and then discuss it rationally.
 

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Maybe you can get caught rubbing one out and then he can go off and then you guys will be all squared up.
In fact maybe you can just start rubbing one out in front of him...a sign that shows him....sometimes we all just need to rub one out!!

But then again I'm always rubbing one out, so Mrs. the-guy expect it...its when I'm not horny that gets her concern...especially at 45. LOL
 

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How long did he neglect you? Obviously you were upset for a specific reason but Im assuming he spent a lot of time away or took too long to get you something requesting due to him trying to get his rocks off? If you were sleep or just minding your business while he was doing this, whats the deal then? Sounds like you are looking for something to be mad about this is the icing on the cake. I understand if you're sick and he's suppose to be by your side making sure your needs are met. I personally don't like to be bothered too much when Im sick. I like being pampered by the W but other than I prefer to just keep to myself because Im so irritable when Im sick. Think you need to be more specific to him as far as either being mad at the act of him doing, him doing it to porn, or it consuming time that he could have been taking care of you.
 
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