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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all,

I'm trying to determine if some voicemails that I found on my wife's iphone (used an Itunes Backup analyzer) are as inappropriate as they seem.
Voicemails are from my neighbor and here is the transcript:

1. Recieved 7 Oct 2011 @ 1958. "Hope you have gate...er great trip. Hopefully...uh... I can call you. You don't need to call to call me you don't want to. You be safe. Buh -bye."

2. Recieved 29 Oct 2011 @ 21:48. "Have a good night. Buh-bye
3. Recieved 29 Oct 2011 @ 22:19. Just background noise. Don't understand why he called again 30 minutes after wishing her good night. Don't understand why he's wishing her good night in first place.

4. Recieved 30 Oct 2011 @ 15:49. Background noise

5. Recieved 10 Nov 2011 @ 19:35. Background noise

6. Recieved 10 Nov 2011 @ 20:05. "Hey J*, can you call me back tomorrow? Ummm. between 10 and 2 tomorrow? Or I can try and call you back. Ok? Bye."

7. Recieved 11 Nov 2011 @ 12:58. "Hey J*. Just seeing how you guys are doing. Ummm...we're checking up on the house every once and a while and umm driving the car around a little bit so it doesn't get bogged down. Alrighty. Take care, bye."

Context for voicemails. I was sent away for work for 6 months in beginning of October. My wife decided to go home @ approx. the same time and I entrusted neighbor with house and car keys. His wife and mine are from the same culture/country and appear to have a good relationship. My work, prior to leaving, required many late nights, weekend work, and overnight site coverage. I was obese @ the the time (recently lost over 45 lbs) and wife is tall and attractive. In 2006 I had confirmation that she had ONS during a 4 month site visit. I forgave and now understand that I rug swept.
What initiated the iphone forensics was me catching my wife giving neighbor a foot massage. They downplayed incident but I began investigating my STBXW's emails, messenger messages, and phone history. To date I have found an 11 year EA (different guy, not neighbor), confirmation of another PA in 2004 with thoughts of leaving me (diff guy), PA in 2005 with plans to leave me (dif guy), and neighbor's voicemails.
My gut, the voicemails, history of blameshifting by both neighbor and SBTXW, all lead me to believe that something's not right. I will not reconile with wife; way too much damage and I believe there's still alot of trickle truth. D-day was in early July and she has not been remorseful at all.
I've confronted both and I've lost count on the inconsistencies given. I'm asking for help on whether to inform neighbor's wife about what is going on or not.
Thank you in advance for any help.




















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Actually, you don't need an interpretation of the voicemails.

What I think you need is a wake up call to try and figure out why you are still staying with a serial cheater.

She's had AT LEAST 4 different affairs in the last 7 years. I'm willing to bet there are a few more you don't know about
 

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I dont think there is anything on the vm that is incriminating but knowing that he is calling for any reason may be enough for the wife, considering that your wife is a serial cheat and was giving HER husband a foot massage is crossing the line.

I would atleast tell her what you know, and then wash your hand of all of them!!
 

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Why are you still married to her after you know she is a serial cheater? Honestly, you should just give up on her.

Confront her on what you know and tell her there is to be no more contact with the neighbor. Judge the reaction.
 

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The text of the calls alone can be interpreted by his wife as totally innocent. Apparently he made a few butt calls accidently. So unless his wife has other evidence about her husband - as you do about your wife - there's no point in telling her.

Unless of course, you show her the text AND include the info about the "foot massage", her proclivity for ONSs, EAs, and random PAs.

But don't do this unless you have decided to pull the plug because it'll take about 30 seconds for your wife to hear from her friend. That will make you seem weak. So if you're going to do it - confront wife first.

Oh, me?
I would have done it so long ago, I'd be on a honeymoon with a real wife by now.
 

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If there is a very logical explanation for the calls I would not tell the wife. I don't quite understand the timeline and details, but if this was regarding watching your house while nobody was home it seems possible that these were totally innocent.

The foot massage is questionable and I don't think enough to get the other wife all worried. At most I would tell the other wife clearly that you don't have any specific evidence of anything inappropriate but you want her to know everything you have. She can choose to dig deeper or ignore it. I would avoid couching things in a way which suggests there is an affair. Keep it cold and factual.

I don't see any reason to stay with your wife at this point. She has an established record of being a serial cheater. Though you didn't ask for opinions on your own marriage, I don't think she will ever be a faithful honest wife.
 

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Tell the guys wife that he is involved with your wife absolutely. She deserves to know what kind of man she is married to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I'm appreciative for all the replies. Thank you.

Divorce is the goal; I do not have any wish to reconcile after finding about the other affairs. I was aware of only the 2006 ONS until I investigated this past summer/fall. The other affairs clearly demonstrate (as noted by other posters) that she is a serial cheater.
I've reread my post and forwarding a more concise timeline. In the end of June '12 I witnessed the foot massage and that triggered the need to dig further. In July I investigated and found about the other afffairs. Initial D-day was in the end of July with no reconciliation phase and no remorse from SBTXW. I was preparing to go overseas during Aug-Sep and since Oct I have been away. I found out about the voicemails while using wife's phone for work overseas. I confronted both by phone and SBTXW ignores my questioning. The neighbor has stated that he called once to contact her due to incoming storm and that appropriate preperations were made. He also stated that he contacted her to ask about what to do for an ant infestation. Due to my location it is easier to phone my wife (will give him that). He stated that his wife was always present when he called. I was never told about these calls upon returning.
What concerns me most about the voicemails is his tone of voice. All but the last message he calls with a low, flirty tone. The last one is more formal, direct, and in his normal tone. All but the last had background traffic noise (we're both near a highway) with last w/o said noise. I believe the last one was spoken in front of the wife because he asked for SBTXW to call during a set window (and tone).
The wife knows about the foot massage.
Divorce is the goal and telling her would not be a way to end what I percieve as an inappropriate relationship. I just wanted to know if she had a right to know about the voicemails.

Thanks again.























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To date I have found an 11 year EA (different guy, not neighbor), confirmation of another PA in 2004 with thoughts of leaving me (diff guy), PA in 2005 with plans to leave me (dif guy), and neighbor's voicemails.
The awkward moment when you find your wife is more than a wh0re!

My advice, run as fast as you can, away from this demon and never look back..

YOU DESERVE WAY BETTER.
 

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I'm appreciative for all the replies. Thank you.

Divorce is the goal; I do not have any wish to reconcile after finding about the other affairs. I was aware of only the 2006 ONS until I investigated this past summer/fall. The other affairs clearly demonstrate (as noted by other posters) that she is a serial cheater.
I've reread my post and forwarding a more concise timeline. In the end of June '12 I witnessed the foot massage and that triggered the need to dig further. In July I investigated and found about the other afffairs. Initial D-day was in the end of July with no reconciliation phase and no remorse from SBTXW. I was preparing to go overseas during Aug-Sep and since Oct I have been away. I found out about the voicemails while using wife's phone for work overseas. I confronted both by phone and SBTXW ignores my questioning. The neighbor has stated that he called once to contact her due to incoming storm and that appropriate preperations were made. He also stated that he contacted her to ask about what to do for an ant infestation. Due to my location it is easier to phone my wife (will give him that). He stated that his wife was always present when he called. I was never told about these calls upon returning.
What concerns me most about the voicemails is his tone of voice. All but the last message he calls with a low, flirty tone. The last one is more formal, direct, and in his normal tone. All but the last had background traffic noise (we're both near a highway) with last w/o said noise. I believe the last one was spoken in front of the wife because he asked for SBTXW to call during a set window (and tone).
The wife knows about the foot massage.
Divorce is the goal and telling her would not be a way to end what I percieve as an inappropriate relationship. I just wanted to know if she had a right to know about the voicemails.

Thanks again.

<a href=http://download.cnet.com/YouTube-To-MP3/3000-2071_4-75810474.html >youtube to mp3</a>
Okay, a much clearer picture. By all means - not only tell her but let her listen to them.
 

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Okay, a much clearer picture. By all means - not only tell her but let her listen to them.
And she will know if he lied about being with him when he called. Tone of voice is everything.
How did you find out about older affairs? Great detective work!
 

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The foot massage is questionable and I don't think enough to get the other wife all worried. .
Really? If I saw another woman giving my husband a foot massage and he wasnt sitting in a massage chair in a nail shop with a little oriental woman speaking *********** to him I would definitely wonder WTF was up!
 

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Really? If I saw another woman giving my husband a foot massage and he wasnt sitting in a massage chair in a nail shop with a little oriental woman speaking *********** to him I would definitely wonder WTF was up!
Darn it woman! I have to clean my keyboard. (how do you remove sweet tea stains from sticky keys?):rofl:
 

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Really? If I saw another woman giving my husband a foot massage and he wasnt sitting in a massage chair in a nail shop with a little oriental woman speaking *********** to him I would definitely wonder WTF was up!
Marsellus Wallace didn't take it so well. :p
 
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