I am pretty fed up, but don't know if I'm making too much of this. I've been married for 23 years, and we have 4 older kids: 14, 16, 18 and 21. My husband has owned his own company for 20 years now. It is very successful, but very stressful. He has a one track mind, and it is work. When he is stressed, he shuts down from me. I'm always the first one. He'll barely talk to me, sits in his "office" and watches TV, ignoring me. In December, I found out my Dad is dying (cancer). I was down here (another state) because he was in the hospital. I sent him a text telling him the diagnosis. His response was, "so how long are you staying". Everyone else is supportive but him. When I got home, I expected I would get a hug, but he didn't get off the couch or even look at me. I went up to bed. When he came up I told him how much it hurt me and he said, "well, I figured you were a big girl". I left right after Christmas (his suggestion) for 5 weeks and took my daughter to help my mom with my dad. (daughter home schooled this year) I thought absence would make the heart grow fonder. Just the opposite - I think he didn't miss me at all. If he did he sure wouldn't give me the satisfaction of showing it. He's been very cold. I was home for a month, but came back down here yesterday because my dad took a turn for the worse. I am sitting next to his bed right now, listening to him breathe. My husband gave me a cold hug right before I left and couldn't get me out fast enough. I decided not to text him when I got here, and he hasn't texted me - not even to ask about my dad. I'm so sad about my dad and on top of it, sad that my husband doesn't care. It doesn't make sense because he loves my dad. Either he is so stressed he can't deal with it, he has fallen out of love with me or he is enjoying having the 'upper hand" emotionally and playing mind games. I don't want to tell him how I feel because he just says, "I don't know what to tell you" or "I wish you could spend a day in my shoes". I'm afraid if he gets mad, he won't come and bring the kids for the funeral, which is not far away. I could go on and on, but you probably get the picture.