Have you simply asked him WTF?
Seriously what are his reasons for not wanting sex with you his wife?
Seriously what are his reasons for not wanting sex with you his wife?
Nope, not sure WHY you're so adamant about staying in a relationship/marriage with a man who (by your OWN admission):ANy advice other than leaving?
Here is what you should do....He just says he is tired and must have low testosterone. He won't ever go to a DR though. It doesn't seem like a man with low testosterone would always have been on porn on his cell phone and computer,,,,, I know if men watch porn to much they say some of them get to where they can't get turned on by real woman. That's my only real guess.
He just is happy with it and doesn't seem to care that I am not getting any affection and am hurting from it. I don't see how someone could be really happy the rest of their life with images and their hand, not ever having real human contact.
Kids are not in a good environment. You need to fix this or leave him.It has to do with the fact we have two kids together and he treats them wonderful when he is home. They feel love and are oblivious because I hide it all well from them. I also keeping trying to have hope there is some solution that can keep my family together. I don't believe kids are better without both parents unless one parent or the kids life is in danger. I don't believe he is doing the meth or cheating anymore. If he is he is the master of hiding it right now.
Plus, I am in a situation with a disease now that keeps me from working. I can't stand the thought of my kids having to live in a homeless shelter with me. That is the worst! I couldn't make it on the child support I would get and I already live modestly. So many factors involved really.
Except that he is out of town a lot and when he IS home on weekends...he treats them wonderful when he is home
He comes home on the weekend...but he always has time for partying, fishing, video games, and his friends on the weekends when it's his only time with me.
Your children must be VERY YOUNG; you cannot hide this kind of behavior from them forever. Your husband is NOT going to walk away from this kind of behavior after 6.5 years JUST BECAUSE you'd like him to; there is NO reason for him to change his behavior (or for you to BELIEVE he has). As someone else on TAM once stated 'HOPE is NOT a plan'.They feel love and are oblivious because I hide it all well from them. I also keeping trying to have hope there is some solution that can keep my family together.
Do you think your EMOTIONAL life is NOT on life-support, because it most assuredly IS.I don't believe kids are better without both parents unless one parent or the kids life is in danger.
Is this a case of 'see no evil'??? Like a little kid who hides their eyes and thinks, 'If I can't see them, they can't see me.'I don't believe he is doing the meth or cheating anymore. If he is he is the master of hiding it right now.
I am sorry your health is compromised. Have you LOOKED INTO programs offered by shelters for abused women? You ARE abused. have you checked into SOCIAL SERVICE programs in your community? Have you looked into church-based programs in your community? Would your family be able/willing to help you and your children? Have you been honest with them about your husband's drug abuse, cheating, and emotional abuse?'I am in a situation with a disease now that keeps me from working. I can't stand the thought of my kids having to live in a homeless shelter with me. That is the worst! I couldn't make it on the child support I would get and I already live modestly.
This is not about judging you. This is about giving you a reality check. There are no magic bullets at this forum but the situation you describe is one that we see here all the time. Guess what? We see your reaction all the time as well. Your husband obviously does not have a high drive and evidently it is not important enough for him to work on and he feels perfectly safe knowing that you are not going to do anything drastic in order to change it and evidently you aren't.I asked for advice on other options because I have weighed all of mine already and asked for help. I didn't come here to be judged like I don't know what is worse for my kids. He would never hurt, rape or harm them. I would never sleep at night over fear of my kids safety. My kids are in no danger now but I sure can see CPS pulling them out of a homeless shelter if I am unable to have a home for them...... last time I will reach out to help on a board. This is no help and it's really not yall's right to judge me.
And some people aren't stupid if they believe in love enough that they hope there might be a solution or hope. People used to call that for better or worse and real love that never fails. Now people who love and hope love will finally win out are made to look bad if they don't leave. Sad. I have heard of some great marriages where one person never gave up. Sad most everyone on help forums tries to push people into divorce saying there is no hope.
If he had low T, or no drive, he wouldn't need porn, looking at porn is implicating that he still has a sex drive and still wants sex!He just says he is tired and must have low testosterone. He won't ever go to a DR though. It doesn't seem like a man with low testosterone would always have been on porn on his cell phone and computer,,,,, I know if men watch porn to much they say some of them get to where they can't get turned on by real woman. That's my only real guess.
He just is happy with it and doesn't seem to care that I am not getting any affection and am hurting from it. I don't see how someone could be really happy the rest of their life with images and their hand, not ever having real human contact.
Nobody in my family will help me and would be angry if they had too. My mother gave us the money to buy this land now the house payment is attached to it. I would lose $42 in equity if I lost my house and they would never speak to me again. I really shouldn't even have to explain why all I can't leave when I asked for other options. I have called shelters and they have said my life wasn't in danger. I would have to take my kids to the homeless shelter with real druggies and severe alcoholic homeless men. And that is a better environment for my kids. You can take your kids to one. NO THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked for advice on other options because I have weighed all of mine already and asked for help. I didn't come here to be judged like I don't know what is worse for my kids. He would never hurt, rape or harm them. I would never sleep at night over fear of my kids safety. My kids are in no danger now but I sure can see CPS pulling them out of a homeless shelter if I am unable to have a home for them...... last time I will reach out to help on a board. This is no help and it's really not yall's right to judge me.
And some people aren't stupid if they believe in love enough that they hope there might be a solution or hope. People used to call that for better or worse and real love that never fails. Now people who love and hope love will finally win out are made to look bad if they don't leave. Sad. I have heard of some great marriages where one person never gave up. Sad most everyone on help forums tries to push people into divorce saying there is no hope.