[TheCanadian]

So hurting some today found out today the nagging feeling I've been having is true, my stbxw has been on vacation since last Wednesday with her affair partner. She mentioned she was going away for couple day's I thought maybe with a girlfriend, but no it seems like she is classless enough to go with the OM on a weeks vacation. where still in the same house as it's for sale but not sold yet, are young kids still do not know what is going on. business is in the last stages of me buying her out not legally separated or served divorce papers as of yet.

Is there no sense of conshence that a WS has?. After so many years and memories and having kids together it's unfathomable to me the amount of hurt and anguish WS's are willing to put on a spouse that loved them..

I think at some point in time all marriages to some degree lose there way people need to stop coping out and be honest with there partner's. I guarantee if you where to tell your spouse I'm not feeling loved and on a verge of a affair, they would do everything and anything in there power to at least try and give you emotions to reconnect with them. your families that you have built are more precious and important then any self centered indulgence such as affairs.

I'm in such a this is F'ed up mode, the rational side of me is saying get her the f'k out of you life, but my emotional side still keeps saying to me maybe she will come out of this fog, and the mind movies of your life together play, and shortly after that the mind movies of her and the OM start rolling.

Does this normally play to the same script? When your in the through s of this sh1t it's hard to believe it's played to the text so far but when do the WS's show remorse? i've been a good man, I've not hit her abused in any other way, i'm introverted and lacked on communication but did try and love her in my own love languages. I'm just stuck here saying wtf does that justify having a affair..

So as much as her saying it's done done done, and me agreeing with the 180 hoping I can heal from this sh1t, I sit here hoping the karma buss will come, she will wake up and say what have I done, she will approach me and say I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just want the choice of saying I want to rebuild something new, or being in a point to tell them to go to hell. Right now for healing I'll i can do is push her away, no matter how hard it hurts heal myself and live a fulfilling life. At this stage it's so hard looking at your kids and interacting with them like your still a complete family when it's just a complete lie..

Anyway's just upset and ranting. Hoping one day through all this **** at least a little remorse would come because it's hard to believe ATM, and so much has been sacrificed for such a POSOM.

LEARN SOME FVCKING BOUNDARIES TO ALL THE WAYWARD SPOUSES!!!

 

[sharkeey]

You're buying her out of her share of your joint business, the house is for sale, and she's on vacation with her affair partner.

Why the heck havent you served her with divorce papers?

This isn't a fog, it's dead, buried, and long over.

Nothing to save here.

 

[TheCanadian]

Ya was getting the the business stuff done first so I could show I'm maintaining my living when it comes to sorting out who gets the kids. With lawyers involved its been prolonged and painful..

 

[sharkeey]

Ya was getting the the business stuff done first so I could show I'm maintaining my living when it comes to sorting out who gets the kids

Not quite sure what that means but generally speaking the better you're able to maintain your living, the more you're going to pay in support while she becomes the primary caregiver with sole custody since you're the one working.

Just saying..

 

[jnj express]

I see you are still in love with your wife---but what wife is that---is certainly isn't your present wife---it is the wife who died, when the cheating began---it is the wife who you courted, and knew, when there were only the 2 of you, and the 2 of you took on the world together---THAT WOMAN DOES NOT EXIST

Stop being maudlin-----get on with what needs to be done

If there was any feeling whatsoever for you and her family, she would not be on a vacation with her lover----so she has made your decision for you

If this will console you think of this as your situation----go ahead and get your D., be free of her disrespect of you, of her treating you as a POS, of her thinking nothing of her own kids---be free of that woman----after D is final, and she maybe wakes up---there is nothing to stop you from starting up with her---if you still feel for her, and should she realize she has wrecked her own life, she might then "get it"----maybe a new relationship can be made from the ashes of the old mge----but get your D, and go from there.

 

[walkonmars]

You didn't ask for this test. You did't deserve this treatment. But you WILL find the strength and courage to get past this.

You never expected to be betrayed by the one person you trusted most. Betrayed and now disrespected by her latest deception.

Now you are even more aware of the depths she is willing to go to in order to get what she wants. The reptillian part of her brain is now in charge. Let the lawyer handle the divorce or she will happily clean you out.