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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Every day is the same, regardless of what I do.

Regrets, regrets, regrets.

Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

Every night now I dream about her. The love we had, the family we created. The past, the future.. together.

No talking through it with anyone helps any more. It's been fully dissected. I know what I could have done to be better in the marriage. It's evident. I've read MMSL, lots of things, but I can't turn back time. Nothing I did deserved this treatment (Cheated on, she left for OM, dumped in her country with no family or friends, OM moved in a few days after I left for a break). Her remorselessness is mind-boggling. It's cruel. She says she is sorry and that she messed up but she does not regret the affair.

I don't understand life anymore.

I don't understand love anymore. How could it be this fragile?

She was my first love, and a big big love. Our two children are beautiful and they deserve more than this.

I should have known though if she left a man for me (the marriage was already wrecked), she could leave me for someone else. But this time was much more treacherous and deceitful. We had a family together; we were building a life together. She says I frustrated her, disappointed her. No one's perfect. Doesn't she remember the great times we had? Did she put her all into the marriage? Did she communicate her unhappiness to me in a real way?

**** her. **** her a thousand times over.
 

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"I should have known though if she left a man for me (the marriage was already wrecked), she could leave me for someone else. "

And she'll KEEP doing it bro. If only we knew then, right?

Man, THERE'S LIKE 3 X'S THE WOMEN than men on this Earth, or some shlt like that. Go find you a better one.


Right now, you need to find something BETTER than reading the books. You need something FUN to do. Because brother, you need time right now, time to heal. Cry it out if you have to. Go to the bathroom and turn the vent fan on and get in the shower if you need to do it "quieter" for guests in the home.

Do whatever you need to do to feel better.

I promise you, that day will come. She asked for the D on our anniversary back in October. BUt this all started in August. I'm JUST now getting to where I don't break down every few hours.

Today I cried, but mainly because of the shooting at the school, so that's irrelevant.

But do somethign FOR YOU... Then get back to your studies. Yes, they're studies, read ALL the books you can on self help. Even if you think you won't learn something from it, like a codependancy book, get it. You'll find something in there for you that you can take iwth you and learn from.

Good luck.
 

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Stay.... shes just a woman who went and did something stupid and hurtful

You are always going to be a dad-focus on being the best you can be.

Your kids will need to see you strong. For they will need you to lean on as time passes.

Dont let her determine who you are.

love and peace.
 

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You are not what happens to you, you are how you handle what happens to you. Don't let her take you down, OP... Look at all she has done. Take the high road, and rise above.
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Forget her for right now and focus on her kids. No boy toy is going to be able to replace you and the strong father who will not take sink to her level is a very attractive man who gets respect.

You want her back you're going to have to stop wanting her and focus on you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I really like the focus on integrity you guys have.

In the end, if you can maintain your integrity, you win.

Take the high road.

I think I got so blown away from the affair and its aftermath that I lost some sense of what's real in the world. At times I lashed out, I blamed, I let her get under my skin. I was brought down to her level. But you remind me that there is black and white amidst the shades of gray.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
"
I promise you, that day will come. She asked for the D on our anniversary back in October. BUt this all started in August. I'm JUST now getting to where I don't break down every few hours.
We're on the same timeline. Good luck to you, too.
 
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