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My cheating spouse and I have been separated for 1.5 years now and in the middle stages of divorce. We have been in this messed up cycle of sending short curt emails then become pleasant with texting then almost normal together behaviour going to child school functions and out to eat afterwards. The strange cycle then ends again and we are back to strangers and all business again. He has been going to therapy and gives these little hints that he is working on himself and trying to fix things. Since I have been hurt and betrayed, I am always very cautious when communicating with him.

Since Halloween we have been texting and fun with one another. Typing about election, voting and child. Last night, texted asking about child and dinner after play practice. I texted back that we were going to outback and he said he was hungry. I debated whether to invite him. A feeling came over me and I decided to drive by his tramp house to see if he had truly severed ties with skank as I was told by a few people. Well sure enough there was his truck. I immediately texted and said table would be to crowded with our family and ****. He gets all pissed and says he was babysitting this kid and that I should not spy on him. I get furious since he NEVER takes time for his own daughter and barely talks to her although lives 20 blocks away.

I never respond and called a friend to eat with. When I arrive home, I am still steaming. I text him to tell him I have financial forms for attorney and need his forms. He turns evil and says I am a drunk and evil *****. I beat him down to nothing as a man and that I was always bleeding him dry. Mind you, I have always worked 90k job for 16 years of marriage and he barely ever pays me since leaving. Never has money and lives like a pauper because his business is slow and he refuses to shut it down or look for another job.

He texts that i am the f-ckin worst wife and that I will die alone and miserable. It hurt alot. I was mad at myself for not just walking away from texting but I was mad. I texted that it is funny that it is all my fault and that I took everything from him, but he never mentions the 2 affairs he had that actually broke the trust and destroyed the marriage. He says more venom and just tells me to f off.

I sat on the couch in shock, from text and bantering, to seeing him at tramps house, to him admitting he is watching someone else's child to having him express all this mean untrue statements. I know it is total guilt and rug sweeping, but I have come so far and I am shocked how I can be pulled back in so easily.

So SAd and angry, been up all night and now have a big meeting. when wil
wiLL I learn I cannot associate with this narcissist?
 

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wow. Sometimes when I read stories like this, my troubles don't seem so bad. But then again, we're all losing / lost our spouses, right? Pain is pain. But I can't imagine what you're going through.

I hope things start looking up for you.
 
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