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Discussion Starter #21
Gently, maybe you were not the only one in this relationship that saw a change. Nagging and complaining can take a toll on someone. It’s hard to comment when we are only getting one version of the story. If my hot, independent gf wanted me to go to Miami with her, I’d go in a heartbeat. What are we missing?


He can’t handle stress. At all. And he was super stressed from work. Plus he said he couldn’t go the entire time, he could only go for 4 days, and even then he said he needed to work while he was there and video in for conferences.
 

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What does he do for a living that he couldn’t disconnect from work for a few days? CEO’s of fortune 100 companies aren’t even that stressed. Is it just that he didn’t want to go with you? Would he have made time for his buddies if they were going to Vegas? Have you two been away together before? If so, how’d that go? If I’m asking too much, tell me the STFU. It seems like you are reflecting on this failed relationship and I’m just coming at it from a different perspective.
 

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Discussion Starter #23
What does he do for a living that he couldn’t disconnect from work for a few days? CEO’s of fortune 100 companies aren’t even that stressed. Is it just that he didn’t want to go with you? Would he have made time for his buddies if they were going to Vegas? Have you two been away together before? If so, how’d that go? If I’m asking too much, tell me the STFU. It seems like you are reflecting on this failed relationship and I’m just coming at it from a different perspective.


He works in finance. I don’t know why he works so much, but has been working a lot of weekends to get stuff done.
We have gone away together for a weekend and we have had fun. At least from my perspective.

I don’t really know what happened. Clearly he is not that Into me because of how he was treating me.
 

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Discussion Starter #25
Well, isn’t finding this out the goal? That is if you want to not make the same mistakes over and over.


There is only one person that can answer that and I won’t contact him.
But I do think it’s bc he thinks I’m critical and too much work to make happy.
 

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… I do think it’s bc he thinks I’m critical and too much work to make happy.
Then he wasn't the right guy anyway. He's entitled to his opinion, but it doesn't mean he's right. I recall reading some of your posts regarding this relationship. Frankly, it sounded to me like he was somewhat lazy after awhile.

I'm sure it stinks to be dealing with a breakup during the holidays, but a new year is just around the corner. Stand strong. You did the right thing.
 

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I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I didn’t want to, I love him but he gave me no other choice.
Upon reflection I have realized that it wasn’t lack of love or respect, but a lack of value that was the cause. He did not value me.

Value... relative worth or importance. When you really value something you treat it different. I like to go back to this quote... effort is a reflection of interest.

I am writing this to make me feel better about my decision. Any thoughts are welcome :)
I think you will have a better life in the long run if you follow your own post here. It may be painful in the short term, bit in the long it will be worth it.
 

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If you’re taking about the red pill sexual market value... I find that to be super sexist. My age is my age. I am fit and healthy. I look the way I look. The end.
No I'm talking about nature.
You age is a factor as well as mine is...I'm 55.
 

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Discussion Starter #30
No I'm talking about nature.
You age is a factor as well as mine is...I'm 55.


Well I am older than my bf. And I fact every single man in his family married a women that was older than them. Including his dad, and brother. Even his cousin who married a women 15 years older than him.
 

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Well I am older than my bf. And I fact every single man in his family married a women that was older than them. Including his dad, and brother. Even his cousin who married a women 15 years older than him.
Remaining single is always a good option.
 

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"Whatever it was... it made him feel like I didn’t appreciate him, and no matter what he did he couldn’t make me happy. So I’m sure it was me complaining and not appreciating him enough. "

If this is true I think it is unlikely he will be back. If this is how he feels he likely thinks this is something that can't be fixed.

Onward and upward.
 

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@Girl_power, I don't think your break up was due to your ex valuing any less I just think you got bait and switched. He knew the kind of guy he had to be to get you to be interested in him. Once he got you, he stopped pretending. The man who was there at the end is the real one. If you can't accept that version then you did the right thing by moving on.

Enjoy your mini vacation in Miami. It's a great place to get your groove back.
 

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Use this time to be introspective. If you were critical then you did him a favor as it is not a good quality to possess in a relationship.
 

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You two seem to be good people, but not the best match. I agree this is a really good time for self-reflection and to analyze the things that make you happy. Its equally important to understand the role you played in the breakdown as well as figuring out exactly what you wanted/needed from him. I swear by the Love Languages book! Its a really short read and allows for some powerful insight on your wants/needs along with your potential partners. Though you are removed from that relationship now, I bet you would learn what your previous partner needed. The complaint "nothing is ever good enough" is normally said by someone who wants to hear that they are appreciated. He probably needed more words of affirmation to feel valued/loved.

Regardless, breakups suck and the loneliness is cold. I hope the mourning phase passes quickly and you meet someone new in 2020!
 
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