It's always wise to avoid using things that identify you on the forum, particularly real names and self portraits. The reason is twofold - It allows you to speak more freely and therefor enabling you to tell your story without worrying that someone, like your family, friends or partner will...
I don't know about "privacy" exactly, but I think maybe she feels self-conscious if you just stare. It doesn't really matter what the rest of us think. If your wife is uncomfortable with it, you should make an effort to ensure her comfort.
In other words, things that don't seem like a big deal to you or to other people may be a big deal to her. Her feelings matter.
Yes, everything @theloveofmylife just said. I don't mind it personally, but I can't speak for all women. You need to make sure your wife is comfortable with whatever you do when you are intimate. If it makes her uncomfortable, just stop doing it. Try something else that provides you both with excitement.
I think it’s largely a matter of what “looking at” means.
If you like to sit there and stare at it autisticly, I could see that being a problem.
Otherwise, I can’t see why it would be an issue. My wife’s never had an issue with me looking at her vagina, occasionally she even flashes it at me on purpose.