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If it happens it happens and if it doesn't it doesn't.

We've have short trips away (1-3 days) without any sex at all, and other short trips with sex aplenty. Just as we've also shared longer trips away with a bit less sex or had lots of it with abandon.

Time, fatigue, desire and opportunity all play a role.

One thing for sure though, we never put sex on our itinerary as part of our plan for what we want to do and see. Instead we share sex together, when we get turned on and find or make opportunities to get on with it when we can.

That said I expect if our sex life at home wasn't particularly adventurous or frequent, it wouldn't be more adventurous or frequent when taking holiday. So if it ain't that great at home, one shouldn't be surprised to find that it isn't going to be splendid while on holiday either.

Now I'm sure you have the best intentions, yet like some others here, I read your expectation for sex on holidays. As being about you having covert contracts and feeling you have an entitlement, to get what you feel you ought to get as a consequence of you working.

Now there's nothing wrong with feeling that your spouse should want to have sex with you. Yet I think your mindset does you no favours, in generating more sexual desire from your spouse.

The other notable thing is that you say this bugs you, yet you also say you aren't talking to your wife about it. Can you see how that approach doesn't help you?

At the end of the day if you have an issue with your wife, you ought to tell her!

If she wants to fix it with you, she will. If she doesn't want to fix it with you, she won't.

If you don't like the outcome, do something about it.

Or if you don't like the outcome, yet want to carry on whingeing to no end. Perhaps you could try taking responsibility for the decisions you make and instead embrace those choices.
 

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It depends on where we are staying and what we are doing. Usually, both of us get antsy if we haven't had sex for a week. However, when on vacation, if we are staying in a room which is like attached to other rooms with paper thin walls, it's a turn off. Also, like right now, I am at my in laws. We are in the basement with our kids sleeping in the living room on inflatable beds, one kid is right outside our room in the hallway on an inflatable. We can literally hear him turning over on the bed...lol...so yeah we kiss, make out...but not gonna have sex while kids are right there...

In the next week, we will be at my sister in law's new house with several rooms and we will have our own room and attached washroom. However, we will be doing lots of things in the day and might be too tired. I can bet however that after about of week or so of not doing it...we will end up ****ing in the middle of the night...just happens naturally.

If we wanted to make it a sex specific vacation, we would leave the kids with relatives and get away for 2-3 nights and do not plan any activities. Just stay in a nice hotel, order food, relax, talk...than it's on...so not having to worry about kids, or cleaning...this puts us in the mode....so if that's what you want, just plan your vacation accordingly.

No matter how old your kids are, it makes a difference if you separate yourself from that part of your life where you are parenting...and being just lovers instead of husband/wife, mom/dad...
 

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Seaside, FL? I lived near there and enjoyed the locality a great deal.

With my ex, sex was never a given under any circumstances - part of the reason she's an ex! This relationship is simply very sexual - it just happens, although more-so on vacation.
Yes sir


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Most of the time vacations are a lot of hard work and a lot of money spent. When younger, I always tried to get some type of public display, most of the time no go. I just want to have sex on the top floor with the curtains open. No way does the wife expect to have. Most of the time I hate vacations ---- by the time I get everything set for her, she needs to go to the bathroom/says she's hungry/needs something from the car. For instance, when we go to a park, planning to read a booh--bu the time I get to open the book I carried, she is ready to go, I am tired when I return
 

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I wouldn't say it's "expected", but I think it happens more often naturally when we're away, simply because we're away from all our responsibilities and can just focus on us.

It can also depend why we're away - if it's because I've asked for some 1:1 time with my husband, there's usually more sex, because the reason we went away in the first place was to reconnect. If we're away just for a break, or an event, we can sometimes not have sex or not as much simply because we're too busy or too tired.
 

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Most of the time vacations are a lot of hard work and a lot of money spent.
I’ve just lowered by expectations commensurate with our relationship in general. She relaxes on vacation but that doesn’t translate into more sex. She doesn’t flirt or make sexual expressions in general. Anything more than once in a 96-hour period is met with “OMG again” regardless of the venue.

When we do family vacations it’s fun but I feel like I’m working as well, almost to the point where sometimes I feel like I’m watching them have a vacation. Driving, paying, coming up with a plan, putting out fires with the kids, etc. It’s all about what she and the kids wants to do. She’s in mom-mode most of the time either fretting about something or “let’s make memories” mode it’s a huge intimacy killer for me. Every thought is what about the kids. Will she make an effort... yes. However, most of the time it’s far from satisfying, has to be quiet, fast and secretive and then she wonders why I’m grumpy.

In my case, sex isn’t on her mind that often anyways except during ovulation. Vacation is no different. We just did our first sans-kids getaway (Sunday night-Friday night). Got presented with a “week of lovin’ any time you want” coupon for our anniversary the morning we left. I was excited. This coupon expired 26 hours later as her period showed up when means she’s asexual and I go from husband to sibling. She abhors one-sided sexual encounters on or off her period (maybe 3 in 18 years) so yes lowering expectations in mandatory.


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I’ve just lowered by expectations commensurate with our relationship in general. She relaxes on vacation but that doesn’t translate into more sex. She doesn’t flirt or make sexual expressions in general. Anything more than once in a 96-hour period is met with “OMG again” regardless of the venue.

When we do family vacations it’s fun but I feel like I’m working as well, almost to the point where sometimes I feel like I’m watching them have a vacation. Driving, paying, coming up with a plan, putting out fires with the kids, etc. It’s all about what she and the kids wants to do. She’s in mom-mode most of the time either fretting about something or “let’s make memories” mode it’s a huge intimacy killer for me. Every thought is what about the kids. Will she make an effort... yes. However, most of the time it’s far from satisfying, has to be quiet, fast and secretive and then she wonders why I’m grumpy.

In my case, sex isn’t on her mind that often anyways except during ovulation. Vacation is no different. We just did our first sans-kids getaway (Sunday night-Friday night). Got presented with a “week of lovin’ any time you want” coupon for our anniversary the morning we left. I was excited. This coupon expired 26 hours later as her period showed up when means she’s asexual and I go from husband to sibling. She abhors one-sided sexual encounters on or off her period (maybe 3 in 18 years) so yes lowering expectations in mandatory.


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Or.... you could either end the relationship, not go on vacations with her anymore, or decide to do what makes YOU happy on family vacations.
 

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My wife and I just returned from our family vacation and never had sex. In fact, almost every vacation we’ve ever taken has been without sex. The only exception is that rare overnight trip where it is just the two of us... in that case it’s mostly about sex. Family vacations for us are about entertaining kids and giving them some happy memories and experiences out of the house.... usually too tired and there is no time alone.

It’s funny though... I still anticipate and always hope for sex no matter what... I could have made a move this week and I think my wife would have agreed... just would have been weird with my 19 year old son on the other side of an RV door... yeah I just grabbed her close and made myself go to sleep.
 
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