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V-day!

5K views 66 replies 34 participants last post by  Cynthia 
#1 ·
What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day?
What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?
Does anyone decorate and actually get into Valentine’s Day?
 
#3 ·
His daughter’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day and she invited us both out to dinner. I’ve never really cared about it anyway so I said sure. I’m flattered she wants me there. So we’ll have a nice birthday celebration with her and then come back to his house for some time to ourselves. Perfect night!!
 
#8 ·
absolutely nothing. I have never acknowledged valentine's day and i don't intend to start now. I would like my wife to not mention it, not sulk about it and get over the incredibly stupid day.
this
 
#9 ·
Valentine's Day? Yuk...

A consumerist day to shame and pressure men into spending money on crap no one needs and for women to flex their gifts on any other woman they come across.

I'll let the ladies in on a little secret. Most men put little real thought into what they buy you. They work off a price point and hope it is just a little more than your friends/sister receives. The same goes for jewelry.

I have a good friend whose family owns a florist. When I was younger I used to help out during the holidays taking orders, making deliveries and such. Maybe one out of a hundred men actually had more input than "uh, yeah...she likes roses," Almost without exception they indicated what they wanted to spend and asked if it was enough. Wasn't too hard for the female emp,oyees to convince them to double 9r even triple the budget they came in with.

The risky move was to send the arrangement to her workplace. This is a great idea when she is the only one getting flowers, but on Valentine's Day she won't be. If a coworker gets a bigger arrangement, candy, a stuffed animal, balloons, etc. and his lady didn't it would have been better if he sent nothing at all. I delivered many beautiful arrangements to offices only to see the obvious look of dissatisfaction. I could easily predict this outcome if I walked past a grander spread on someone else's desk on the way in.

As previously suggested, treat your partner right all year, not just when the American Marketing Association tell you to.
 
#26 · (Edited)
Valentine's Day? Yuk...



A consumerist day to shame and pressure men into spending money on crap no one needs and for women to flex their gifts on any other woman they come across.



I'll let the ladies in on a little secret. Most men put little real thought into what they buy you. They work off a price point and hope it is just a little more than your friends/sister receives. The same goes for jewelry.

I’ll tell the men a little secret... we like the thought and effort. A lot.
 
#13 ·
Wow, why the hate on for V-Day?

I mean, it's basically a freebie to buy your wife some lingerie and have a fun night.......
Well, I have tried that in the past and got them thrown in my face. Some women has such body self image issues that anything implying sex simple is too threatening for them.

Yes, flowers. Yes, a movie. No to restaurants as they are way too crowded. Home with a bottle of wine and an Amazon firestick movie is not the plan.

For me V-day is a day of low expectations, that way I am not disapointed.
 
#11 · (Edited)
I do not care for the concept of valentines day. You should demonstrate your love and affections for your SO throughout the year.

That being said, I do use it as an excuse to take her out to dinner, and we get each other a gift. Last year she got a skillet and I got binoculars. This year she is getting socks, we'll see what I get.
 
#12 ·
I am Leslie Knope when it comes to celebrating holidays, so I have a policies and procedures binder and a 5 year plan on how to celebrate Valentines Day! LOL

Okay, maybe that is just a small exaggeration, but I don't "ignore" Valentines Day. We are going to make a fancy dinner together (we FAR prefer to make our dinners than to go out to eat), and we're having chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. I do have some secret presents for EB, but I'm not telling here because he can read ;)

Then next weekend we are making a day of it an doing a 5k "race" followed by brunch, then heading to the mountains for a sleigh ride followed by dinner.

Personally, I believe in being loving every day, all year long...but I don't object to picking one day to especially show my love.
 
#14 ·
What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day?
The absolute minimum required to not find myself in the doghouse.

What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?
Not. One. Damn. Thing.

I'm very much an actions-speak-louder kinda guy, so singling out a day of the year to proclaim my undying love cheapens the other 364 days when proclaiming my undying love comes in the form of a fully realized relationship.

However, how I see it is not the whole story, so some small token is required to keep the SO happy. Since I periodically bring home flowers during the year because they are always appreciated, it's not a stretch to pay 3x for the same during February. Throw in a nauseating card and call it good.

What I will not do is fight with the crowds at restaurants and other romantic getaways because the calendar says I should. We spent this last weekend away at the coast - that will have to do.

Oh, and as Dan Savage says - be sure to **** First before you go out for that big meal together. You're welcome.
 
#20 ·
IMO: Valentine's Day causes performance anxiety in both male and female folks. Be sincere and honest. Be considerate. Say/write what is truth to you. Men want to be appreciated. Women want to be loved--at the minimum.

To me something involving good memories is more valuable than gold. This is not the time for a command performance, but just a genuine extra demonstration of affection.

Often folks expect what happened in a family of origin situation. My folks adored each other all their lives. This was an actual legacy of what might have been.

My ex made it clear that he thought our marriage was a mistake early on--any Valentine's Day expression from him was so that he could be admired by others. I've seen this addressed above here--sounds and is painful.

I know who loves me and who does not. I know who appreciates me and who does not. It is nice to get extra attention whether or not you 'know' it. A homemade coupon for a massage, for time off the usual grind, there are inexpensive ways to create a special feeling.

Calling V-Day a stupid day--It was often painful for me, I have no SO and expect nothing. But to me, this day is more about transmitting feelings than actions.
 
#22 · (Edited)
It looks like a lot of people avoid going out to eat on valentines because the restaurants are packed. I don't think I have ever noticed this.

Of course it might help that I rarely take my wife out on valentines day. I just use it as an excuse to take her out. The actual day we go out will depend on what day we decide we can both enjoy it. As far as I am concerned any day we go out during the month of February is our celebration of valentines day. (Usually we keep it within a week of the actual date. This gives us at least two weekend to work with.)

This year we will be going out on Saturday. Our oldest child has a church activity that we are taking him and some other youth to. We will drop them off, then go shopping for tile and other things we need for our bathroom remodel. Have an early dinner. Pick up the youth. Make the 2.5 hour drive home. Then who knows what. ;)
 
#23 ·
I really don't want to fight the crowds going out to dinner...especially on a Friday night this year. We love cooking together so our original plan was to make a nice prime rib meal together. But his girl wants dinner out to celebrate her birthday so out we go!! But we'll be going to a good fire grilled pizza place that doesn't take reservations and can't be considered romantic at all so I doubt they'll be a lot of coupls there fighting for tables. She's the sweetest thing and really wants me there and how can I say no to that? Of course, I just found out she wants her Mom there too...should make for a funny story..."what did you guys do for your first Valentine's together?" "We went out with his wife." LOL Thankfully she and I get along just fine and we're going early enough that we'll have our own time alone later in the evening.

I might wear something special that I give him a peek at just before we leave the house just to torture him though. >:)
 
#24 ·
This is the first Valentine’s day that I’ll have acknowledged for a number of years, to be honest, and I’m more than a little excited! I’ve never been out for dinner, but that is what beau has planned for us. Last week, I put in an order for a small vase of underwater orchids to be sent to his office on Friday. As for what I’d like him to do for me… I’d just like his time. After dinner, we’ll go kick back for the evening, and the following day, I’m taking him cross-country skiing for the first time. And, we just hit 11 months (boy, does time sure fly!) :grin2:
 
#31 ·
Spoke too soon here, and plans have changed a bit. SO's 9 year old daughter asked what her Dad was doing this week, and he told her that him and I were going out for dinner on Valentine's Day. She got jealous and started crying, so he's now taking her and his older daughter out for dinner and I'll be once again treating it as any other day. I'm in the midst of a mound of freelance projects, so after my day of working the full time job, I'll probably come home and work some more.

Can't say I'm not disappointed, and I may have cried a bit after hanging up with him. Should have known not to get my hopes up!
 
#25 ·
After Saturday, probably better do something. She is working friday and saturday, so Wednesday is the night this year. I'll just declare it steak and all the oral sex she can handle day. I won't get any consideration. But, it's ok I'm well aware VD is for girls.
 
#34 ·
I don't have a SO so up until 2 weeks ago, I thought this was going to be another year with nothing to do on Valentine's day but it looks like I'm going to have a full weekend of activities.

My girlfriends and I are getting together for dinner Thursday night for Galentine's day; I'm headed to an Anti-Valentine's Day party on Friday with a girlfriend; going out dancing with a friend (not calling it a date) Saturday night; and spending some serious cash at a five star restaurant on Sunday night with my Foodie Group (been looking forward to this one a long time). I'm going to need a month to recover from all of that.
 
#37 ·
I like to acknowledge and kinda celebrate Valentine's day. Before kids my husband and I used to go out or cook something special at home. Now most likely we stay home. It's too crazy to go out.

This year, since vd is on a Friday and President's day is Monday, we decided to go on a little trip to Mexico with the kids and another couple. I have to take my little valentine with us. My daughter was named after St. Valentine.
 
#39 ·
@Livvie, yeah, we had made plans last week to go out for Valentine’s day supper, which is something I’ve never done and was really excited about. I get along well with both daughters, but late last year, his youngest went through a stage where she was scared that her Dad was going to leave her for me, and she didn’t want him dating. She’s been opening up more since the New Year though, but she’s still jealous of time him and I spend together. So yes, she got upset and now he’s going to dinner with his daughters and no, I’m not invited. We have plans all day on Saturday now instead, which is fine, but I’m now worried that if his youngest finds out, she’ll be upset about that too. I like her; she’s a sweet kiddo, but I think she’s quite proficient at knowing how to get what she wants from her Dad, unfortunately. In answer to your last question, this is his week without his daughter (his youngest is with him every second week; his oldest visits him during that week but doesn’t stay with him). So, they were supposed to be with their Mom.
@Lila, yes, he’s well aware of how disappointed I am. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this has happened either. I have a lot of patience, and realize that his kids take precedence. But, we (as a couple) need to take priority sometimes, I feel.
@sunsetmist, this has happened before, yes, but not on a holiday. Just a few dates here and there had to be cancelled or rescheduled. I worry that this is going to be my future, and I’m not happy with that thought. My own fault for getting my hopes up and being excited… Lesson learned!
 
#67 ·
@Lila, yes, he’s well aware of how disappointed I am. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this has happened either. I have a lot of patience, and realize that his kids take precedence. But, we (as a couple) need to take priority sometimes, I feel.
This does not bode well for your relationship. He is being manipulated by his daughter and it's not going to get any better if he cancels plans, because of his daughter's jealousy. Patience is one thing, but enabling manipulation is quite another.
 
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#41 ·
On the first valentines with the mother of my children, I bought ruby earrings and a matching necklace and we cuddled on the couch. We had been dating for for two months at that time and I said, "I love you" for the first time. She said something about liking me too though I don't think she was really ready to.

In the beginning of the relationship, I would take her out, buy her flowers, and she'd usually get frisky with me.

Later in the relationship, I would usually cook her favorite meal (baked salmon, rice, sauteed asparagus, and white wine), usually get flowers, and we'd watch one of the "romantic" movies she'd been wanting to watch. It was a coin flip if she made it to the end of the movie before falling asleep.

The last few years we were together, I'd arrange babysitting, we'd go out to eat, and come home to watch the movie she wanted to watch. If she was still awake when it was over, she'd insist on starting another one.

This is the second V-Day since she moved out. Over the last couple years I have gotten over the excitement of "celebrating" it. I have some frozen salmon in the freezer. I'll probably make it for irony's sake.
 
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