Thank you all for your input!! You all had you valid points. I met with a lawyer today after I grew some balls and am filing for divorce. I felt very good afterwards, almost like weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. I told my w, to which she broke down and probably couldn't believe it. I was calm, cool, and to the point. I spoke briefly and left the house for a little while for her to absorb it all. I'm still experiencing the roller coaster of emotions but know this is the right course of action. Just breaks my heart for my son. Yes I will pay out my ass for alimony but that will only be temp. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt really good to give her a taste of her own medicine. We do plan to be amicable about it and right now want to remain friends afterwards for my sons sake since he has his own issues. I know there is still a rocky road ahead until it is done but I have to learn to put it in 4 wheel drive with the pedal to the metal....thank you again for all of your support.....BPM