[Mybabysgotit]

Wow.....
I guess my first thought was maybe she likes to play cards. Maybe sitting looking at you and the teasing that can come when you are competitively engaged might be a turn on for her. Many people like the build up prior to sex. But you aren't upset she didn't want sex. You are upset she didn't want sex the same exact time and way you wanted sex. You said you usually play cards until your horny. Originally I thought that meant until both of you are horny. But no it just means until YOU are horny.

This whole mind **** you have going on is so very unfair to your wife and very selfish.
You should have plenty of self esteem that she actually seems to still care about you and your feelings after you acting so childish and passive agressive.

Don't know if it's you or the pot but you really need to work on your internal dialog and your external communication skills.

I think this is spot on and thanks for putting a woman's perspective on it. OP needs to listen to this advice and so do I and many other men.

 

[Mybabysgotit]

Agree with others. Sex is one of those things imo that shouldn’t be part of an “itinerary.” My husband and I have spontaneous sex (my husband mainly initiates but it’s not planned) and to me, if we have to start planning for it, it might not be as fun for us. It would feel bad to me, if we have to start adding it to a schedule.

Maybe that’s how your wife feels - this pressure to have sex on cue and that it’s mainly to boost your self esteem is somewhat of a turn off. Women can tell if a man is insecure.

Maybe just try to relax and go with the flow more and see if your wife’s desire for you flows more.

You really shouldn’t start flirting with women in hopes this makes your wife jealous. You’re married. You say you love your wife - that’s not a loving thing to do, imo.

Many sex therapists will tell you you are wrong; they advocate for scheduled sex. It has worked for my wife and I for many years as well as millions of others. It gives us a chance to to think about it all day and gets me in the mood, otherwise, I don't think about it that much. Sure, we have spontaneous sex as well, but we both get excited on our days and will flirt with each other the whole day to lead up. Now, if one spouse is adverse to sex itself, then I can imagine how that would be a form of torture knowing you have to do it that night. We are far from that.