I think this is spot on and thanks for putting a woman's perspective on it. OP needs to listen to this advice and so do I and many other men.Wow.....
I guess my first thought was maybe she likes to play cards. Maybe sitting looking at you and the teasing that can come when you are competitively engaged might be a turn on for her. Many people like the build up prior to sex. But you aren't upset she didn't want sex. You are upset she didn't want sex the same exact time and way you wanted sex. You said you usually play cards until your horny. Originally I thought that meant until both of you are horny. But no it just means until YOU are horny.
This whole mind **** you have going on is so very unfair to your wife and very selfish.
You should have plenty of self esteem that she actually seems to still care about you and your feelings after you acting so childish and passive agressive.
Don't know if it's you or the pot but you really need to work on your internal dialog and your external communication skills.