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Many sex therapists will tell you you are wrong; they advocate for scheduled sex. It has worked for my wife and I for many years as well as millions of others. It gives us a chance to to think about it all day and gets me in the mood, otherwise, I don't think about it that much. Sure, we have spontaneous sex as well, but we both get excited on our days and will flirt with each other the whole day to lead up. Now, if one spouse is adverse to sex itself, then I can imagine how that would be a form of torture knowing you have to do it that night. We are far from that.
When a couple is dating, they know they are going out Friday night and will very likely have sex. It doesn’t ruin it for them, does it?
 
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