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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just when I did not think it was possible for my STBX to stoop any lower, I reviewed the divorce papers and she checked a box indicating that there was domestic violence, but that it was not severe (thereby unaffecting custody of our son - for which we will have joint). However, domestic violence has NEVER occurred to any degree. This is a huge problem for me. It's bad enough she just wants me to sign uncontested - but there's no way I am signing my name to a document that contains libel. I do not have an attorney, but at this point, I think I am going to need one. What do you think?
 

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Do not sign. Maybe she was trying to pull a fast one. At a bare minimum have an attorney look it over and help you revise it. If she tries to pull more BS, go scorched earth.
 

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Just when I did not think it was possible for my STBX to stoop any lower, I reviewed the divorce papers and she checked a box indicating that there was domestic violence, but that it was not severe (thereby unaffecting custody of our son - for which we will have joint). However, domestic violence has NEVER occurred to any degree. This is a huge problem for me. It's bad enough she just wants me to sign uncontested - but there's no way I am signing my name to a document that contains libel. I do not have an attorney, but at this point, I think I am going to need one. What do you think?
I was in the same place you are but without kids.


Here's the deal... I could fight the divorce... and she would go for permanent alimony... And probably get it per my attorney...

Or sign the damn thing... limiting alimony to one year...
 

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Looks like you have two choices. Tell her to re-draft the complaint to omit the false allegation of domestic violence, and then you will not contest; or hire an attorney to draft a contested response.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
You guys are all awesome, I appreciate the responses very much. I think I will set up a consultation to see what the best option is. The rest sounds legit.

She wants to stay out of court, which makes sense since she was unfaithful and abandoned me and our home when I was in the hospital. She has a lot to hide and I have very little. She also makes more money than I do but somehow I am still paying child support? I don't know, I guess that's why I am here. I certainly don't want any of this, but I also don't want to be with someone who has treated me the way she has. It's been a nightmare.

2ntnuf: Thank you for that. That encompasses more than I thought it would. Mental harm seems kind of a stretch, but maybe that is what she was thinking.
 

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Yes, you need to consult with an attorney. She makes more than you? There is a debts/assets and income worksheet they go through which will determine who owes what to whom. The child support form will be separate, but will can be influenced by the outcome of the debts/assets calculation. My bet is that she has already figured this out, and is trying to pull the wool over your eyes. My X is trying to do the same thing all under the guise of staying out of court and keeping things "amicable". I was good with all of this, until I saw that she wanted me to represent myself while she had an attorney.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 · (Edited)
What's the proposed custody split?
84 hrs / week each. Even split. She will be providing health insurance through her place of work but even after that she still makes more than I do.

Also, we have no debts and no assets outside of our home and vehicles (which are split as indicated). Maybe our 401(k)s factor in? It's the only thing I can think of since mine is worth more than hers.

It's funny, she was threatening me with having to pay like $500 / month because she found a calculator online. I pretty much laughed in her face and thankfully the number is not even close to that.
 

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84 hrs / week each. Even split. She will be providing health insurance through her place of work but even after that she still makes more than I do.

Also, we have no debts and no assets outside of our home and vehicles (which are split as indicated). Maybe our 401(k)s factor in? It's the only thing I can think of since mine is worth more than hers.

It's funny, she was threatening me with having to pay like $500 / month because she found a calculator online. I pretty much laughed in her face and thankfully the number is not even close to that.
Why are you paying her anything?



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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Why are you paying her anything?
That is my question. I have no idea, and I did not see an addendum to see how it was calculated.
 

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This has something to do with it. Also, the copays must be accounted for and cost of prescriptions, etc. You may be paying half for the premiums of the health insurance. Be careful there. Sometimes it's figured so you are paying half of her insurance as well, not just the child's/children's.

"Oh, that was a mistake. Sorry about that." Been there.
She's trying to rob you blind. 50/50 custody and she makes more money means she pays you child support, and if she can't back up the domestic violence claim she should be paying you alimony too.

You need an attorney, preferably the best in town. Whatever you do, don't say anything about this to her until you're represented.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
She's trying to rob you blind. 50/50 custody and she makes more money means she pays you child support, and if she can't back up the domestic violence claim she should be paying you alimony too.

You need an attorney, preferably the best in town. Whatever you do, don't say anything about this to her until you're represented.
Point taken, I will definitely find someone good. Thank you so much! I guarantee she would be trying to get custody if I was not the built in babysitter. I get my son at 8:00PM, just in time for him to go to bed - while she works 3rd shift, how convenient.
 
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Clawed,

Make sure your lawyer has big sharp teeth, and a pointy dorsal fin.





If you expect it to be ugly then make it a lady shark!
 
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