So my fiance and I have been through multiple up and downs, mainly regarding her ex. I have been as patient as possible and we've worked out contracts and plans to better believe in each other. Last night, I felt like one was violated.
I was at work, about to leave early..so I showed up at her dance recital to surprise her. When I arrived, she was shifty, and wanted to leave. I knew something was up. After I urged her, she declared "I want to be honest..I'm meeting up with (my ex) to get my guitar back." He still possesses a lot of her things.
Apparently there were two reasons why she didn't tell me beforehand:
1. She did not want me to get mad, show up, and hurt the little man.
2. We have little money and she wanted to sell the guitar to buy me a present.
She is wrong. If I had been told beforehand I would have not shown up to scare anybody. However...she is a very cunning woman. She was quick to come up with these. My part of this says; "Why couldn't you just be honest and tell me you were getting the guitar back. I'd just say "Okay, I trust you." She told me she knows how I am. My anger, my aggression. (US. Marine early 2000s)
I don't think fear or surprise is a good enough reason to be dishonest. She wanted to meet him at a place alone, even with a reason like a guitar so she could see perhaps..if any sparks still fly? He shows up with his hideous woman. I am willed to show up because I got off work early. Her plan---destroyed?
I don't know what to think. Perhaps women, you can give me your perspectives and thoughts..I just want to save my engagement. Oh yeah. When he showed up, he showed up with his girl, kept his eyes on the ground, shook my hand, and gave back the guitar. I had to remain calm for her...and our developing 10 week old baby inside her.
Why does a part of me think she wanted to see him alone. I don't know what to think, what to do. She has never cheated on me, I actually took her away from HIM. But she has talked to him behind my back..couldn't get over that relationship for a long time..just when I thought she was over it.
I don't want to lose my family, but is this a warning sign? She spent last night apologizing because she hurt me. But she bucked up and said "I didn't do anything wrong with bad intentions." I say...she didn't believe me enough to be honest.
Even if she tells me after it happens like in the past, what's the point and honesty in that? Thank you for the help.
I was at work, about to leave early..so I showed up at her dance recital to surprise her. When I arrived, she was shifty, and wanted to leave. I knew something was up. After I urged her, she declared "I want to be honest..I'm meeting up with (my ex) to get my guitar back." He still possesses a lot of her things.
Apparently there were two reasons why she didn't tell me beforehand:
1. She did not want me to get mad, show up, and hurt the little man.
2. We have little money and she wanted to sell the guitar to buy me a present.
She is wrong. If I had been told beforehand I would have not shown up to scare anybody. However...she is a very cunning woman. She was quick to come up with these. My part of this says; "Why couldn't you just be honest and tell me you were getting the guitar back. I'd just say "Okay, I trust you." She told me she knows how I am. My anger, my aggression. (US. Marine early 2000s)
I don't think fear or surprise is a good enough reason to be dishonest. She wanted to meet him at a place alone, even with a reason like a guitar so she could see perhaps..if any sparks still fly? He shows up with his hideous woman. I am willed to show up because I got off work early. Her plan---destroyed?
I don't know what to think. Perhaps women, you can give me your perspectives and thoughts..I just want to save my engagement. Oh yeah. When he showed up, he showed up with his girl, kept his eyes on the ground, shook my hand, and gave back the guitar. I had to remain calm for her...and our developing 10 week old baby inside her.
Why does a part of me think she wanted to see him alone. I don't know what to think, what to do. She has never cheated on me, I actually took her away from HIM. But she has talked to him behind my back..couldn't get over that relationship for a long time..just when I thought she was over it.
I don't want to lose my family, but is this a warning sign? She spent last night apologizing because she hurt me. But she bucked up and said "I didn't do anything wrong with bad intentions." I say...she didn't believe me enough to be honest.
Even if she tells me after it happens like in the past, what's the point and honesty in that? Thank you for the help.