Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,512 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I just fixed my online banking today with my bank, I haven't been able to log in for close to a year, anyway. I noticed that my husband has been taking out ATM withdraws and not telling me about them. I am the one who pays all the bills and balances the check book.

From Oct 31- now he has taken out close to 250.00 and he has not told me about it. Granted it is his money, but really i balance the book. I think we have more money in the account then we do and wonder where all the money is going.

I don't know what to think. All i can think is the worst.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,335 Posts
Close to 250 in total. But how much each time? I'll take out 20-40 a few times a week. I just like to have cash on me. I use it for things like lunch, or my weekly guitar lesson, or breakfast at my Rotary club, or too expensive coffees. It's close to Christmas, so I might also try to sneak cash for gifts. Or "gifts" for myself.

Obviously there are also possibilities on the "bad" side. He could be getting $50 bj's on the street, or stopping to play the slots at the Indian casinos. Not saying he's doing these things, just saying it's impossible to know unless.....maybe you should just ask him. But if he spent it on a gift for you, then that's gonna blow it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,512 Posts
Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
Close to 250 in total. But how much each time? I'll take out 20-40 a few times a week. I just like to have cash on me. I use it for things like lunch, or my weekly guitar lesson, or breakfast at my Rotary club, or too expensive coffees. It's close to Christmas, so I might also try to sneak cash for gifts. Or "gifts" for myself.

Obviously there are also possibilities on the "bad" side. He could be getting $50 bj's on the street, or stopping to play the slots at the Indian casinos. Not saying he's doing these things, just saying it's impossible to know unless.....maybe you should just ask him. But if he spent it on a gift for you, then that's gonna blow it.
It has totaled up to 600.00 in the last couple of months. The last one he took out was 160.00 on the 7th of November. 80.00 on Oct 31st. I could see if they were 20.00 here and there but not 160.00 and him not telling me about it.

I highly doubt he spent any of the money on me.

He also had better have at least 200.00 of it left or were are going with out water and power for 2 weeks!

He also went to McDonald's twice yesterday! We don't have the money for it.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
411 Posts
He also went to McDonald's twice yesterday! We don't have the money for it.
This helps put things in context.

The last one he took out was 160.00 on the 7th of November. 80.00 on Oct 31st.
These are both wednesdays. If it was an impulsive drug or alcohol thing, it would probably happen more on weekends. Maybe he's taking a certain coworker out for lunch every day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,888 Posts
That's a lot of money to take out and not have recorded. I do believe that all money should be recorded.

I would want to know the reason why he took it out since he didn't tell you. My husband always tells me when he takes larger amounts out, but not the small withdrawals. I pay the bills too, so I know exactly how much is withdrawn out of the bank.

I would really worry if he makes a big deal out of the withdrawals. Also, I would ask him to cut back the extra spending if you both can't afford it. Especially since the holiday's are coming up so quickly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,174 Posts
Does he admit to the w/d's? The reason I ask is that a few years ago someone took $500 out of a joint bank account. My H at the time, was in another state, it turned out someone had simply walked into the bank with our account number, signed their own name on a withdrawal slip, and had been given cash out of our account. It took me several months to get the bank to admit to this, obviously the teller hadn't requested i.d. I learned later through some newshounding and poking around through the govt agency that handled my complaint, that it was likely an inside job at the bank.

Just make sure it's your husband making these w/d's.

You could always just request new ATM cards, and ask for the old ones to be cancelled, then not give him one of the new ones. If he's in fact sneaking around behind your back making w/d's.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
89 Posts
I would ask him. I do all of our bills and handle all of our money too. My husband will not even buy a soda or can of chew without calling and making sure the money is there, let alone withdrawing cash. We live paycheck to paycheck, so he knows that even if the money is there, it may be needed for a utility or food.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,007 Posts
I just fixed my online banking today with my bank, I haven't been able to log in for close to a year, anyway. I noticed that my husband has been taking out ATM withdraws and not telling me about them. I am the one who pays all the bills and balances the check book.

From Oct 31- now he has taken out close to 250.00 and he has not told me about it. Granted it is his money, but really i balance the book. I think we have more money in the account then we do and wonder where all the money is going.

I don't know what to think. All i can think is the worst.
The bolded part, its his money, IMHO I think that is the bigger issue here, dont you feel its OUR money? does he? and if not why?
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top