Yes, it saddens me that she closes her eyes during sex. I have not mentioned it to her since she brought it up, other than noticing it. She explained to me that she can't look at me because I have looked at porn.And the bit about closing her eyes during sex because she couldn't stop thinking about what he viewed her as, comparisons to the porn, whatever... why doesn't that greatly sadden him? Why doesn't he realize he is not the man she likely courted and married and what that means to her? He goes to church weekly out of duty but he doesn't believe. Think about the two of them, hearing the same message, with her knowing that he no longer thinks what she is hearing is relevant. It would be better, I think, if he weren't even there. Plenty of families manage where one is devout and the other not. They do it by not trying to pretend. They do it with some manner of respect.
But we don't know anything about their earlier days. We don't know if he was an alpha-male leader guy who made promises of being a biblically-inspired husband and father. We're kind of making assumptions of that, but what if she saw him as a work-in-progress and accepted him thinking he would grow into the role? That's not what he says though; he says during dating and early marriage he shared the same theology as her.
Hmm. Also taken aback by his claim "We have a healthy sex life" and then the later reveal that she has to close her eyes. I don't think he can say anything beyond "we have sex" as being something in common about their sex life. It's certainly not healthy.
I still go to church because it seems like the right thing to do - to participate in our family's outings, to teach morality to our kids, to be there.
I never claimed to be a super Christian leader who was going to save our family from damnation and save the world too. I am not an alpha personality type. I elaborated more about my faith in my post earlier this morning, so that should help clear things up.
We have sex 2-3 times per week, and we both climax, so there is some "health" to to this sex life.