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This is @farsidejunky 's list:

I want to care for a woman. I want to love a woman and I want to support a woman. She can vent, she can cry, she can yell.
She doesn’t get to sidestep her poor choices or inability to regulate on me…because she thinks she can. Not ever.
You can say that this is my own ego, pride, or fear. I say it is teaching my partner the valuable lesson that my love is indeed a well, and if you consistently drink it dry without replenishing it, you’re eventually going to haul up an empty bucket. And if you can’t show any concern for that eventually, I’m not going to care about watching you go thirsty.

Some exceptionally smart poster around here cautioned you about the journey of self improvement and which of the two mirrors you are judging your growth and improvement upon; hers, not yours.
Using hers wills sink you…. every time.
You are measuring the effectiveness of your change upon how responsive she is.
And at least in my reading, she consciously or otherwise decides to shatter the mirror every once in a while…. And that is when she REALLY gets to see who you are.
The man who is enjoying his life for himself, in which he wants her to share and participate.
Or the little boy who is trying to ‘behave’ so the object of his affection will reward him.

I want to be honorable.
I want to be worthy.
For the benefit of my partner.
But not because of her.
Because of me.
And if I deem she isn’t worthy of my best, then she won’t remain my partner.
I see no need to ever invest myself in ‘winning’ the heart of a woman ever again.
It’s a fool’s errand.
That probably sounds like sour apples.
It isn’t.
I think of it as self-awareness.
For the woman that is worthy of my best, I would lay down my life.

I am loveable just as I am.
I am perfectly imperfect.
It is okay to pursue my needs.
People love and accept me just as I am.
It is OK to be human and make mistakes.
I am the only person I have to please.
No matter what happens, I will handle it.
It is okay to communicate my feelings.
Choices should not be made out of fear.
Do not sugar coat the truth, nor fear the repercussions.
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