My husband is caring and thoughtful. He makes me breakfast in the morning, cleans the house during the day, and makes dinner at night.
But I would give all that up if he would just get a job….
We have been married six and a half years. Everything was fine until about a year and a half ago, when he left his job because he didn’t like a coworker. He took the summer off and returned to school in the fall – we had been planning that he return to school, once I finished and got a good job.
All was well. Then after the first semester he decided his chosen major was too hard, and switched. Remember, he’s not working, and I’m paying for his tuition. This is fine, my salary is more than he was making, and though we don’t have saving I want him to discover what he wants to do with his life. Then we buy a house, and I tell him he needs to get a part time job for us to afford it. He says he will.
He doesn’t even look for a job. Second semester goes by, I try to be supportive. As and Bs, wow, you get a treat! I’m acting like he’s my child, and he’s fine with that.
Summer comes. I hate my job. There is a woman at my work that is making my life a living hell to get her jollies, and she’s my bosses boss and there is nothing I can do (really, nothing). I feel trapped, but the economy is crap and I can’t get another job that would keep us paying the mortgage.
Depression kicks in. Mood swings, thoughts of suicide, self harm. I’ve had anxiety attaches for ten years, but its definitely worse. I feel like I’m back in puberty. And yes, I am on Zoloft. I need to get out of this job – I just need him to find something part time and I can at least pay the bills with a lower paying job. Meanwhile, he’s cleaning the house and thinking he’s a good husband for it, applying to one or two jobs a week (only things he thinks he would enjoy, of course).
Mood swings are awful; every other night I’m breaking down in tears, then getting angry with him. This makes him shut down, but I can’t stop… when I’m feeling awful, he’s there to help, and I lash out at him.
Four months out of school and he still doesn’t have a job. Also he didn’t apply for school next semester. What are his plans for the future? I ask, he doesn’t know. He thinks it will “all work out.” So tonight I told him if he doesn’t get a job next week, I’m kicking him out. He left for three hours – I thought maybe he was wandering around looking for jobs, but no, he was sitting in the park “thinking.”
In my mind, I think he’s a spineless looser, but up front I try to be supportive. The problem is, he lived with his parents until he was 28, then moved straight in with me. I feel like he need s a dose of “reality” or he’s always going to think things will “just happen” for him, and he won’t have to work at it.
He knows it’s serious, but he’s just worried that “getting a job is hard for him” and “what if he can’t do it.” I know he’s smart enough, but what if he can’t? I can’t take any more of this.
But I would give all that up if he would just get a job….
We have been married six and a half years. Everything was fine until about a year and a half ago, when he left his job because he didn’t like a coworker. He took the summer off and returned to school in the fall – we had been planning that he return to school, once I finished and got a good job.
All was well. Then after the first semester he decided his chosen major was too hard, and switched. Remember, he’s not working, and I’m paying for his tuition. This is fine, my salary is more than he was making, and though we don’t have saving I want him to discover what he wants to do with his life. Then we buy a house, and I tell him he needs to get a part time job for us to afford it. He says he will.
He doesn’t even look for a job. Second semester goes by, I try to be supportive. As and Bs, wow, you get a treat! I’m acting like he’s my child, and he’s fine with that.
Summer comes. I hate my job. There is a woman at my work that is making my life a living hell to get her jollies, and she’s my bosses boss and there is nothing I can do (really, nothing). I feel trapped, but the economy is crap and I can’t get another job that would keep us paying the mortgage.
Depression kicks in. Mood swings, thoughts of suicide, self harm. I’ve had anxiety attaches for ten years, but its definitely worse. I feel like I’m back in puberty. And yes, I am on Zoloft. I need to get out of this job – I just need him to find something part time and I can at least pay the bills with a lower paying job. Meanwhile, he’s cleaning the house and thinking he’s a good husband for it, applying to one or two jobs a week (only things he thinks he would enjoy, of course).
Mood swings are awful; every other night I’m breaking down in tears, then getting angry with him. This makes him shut down, but I can’t stop… when I’m feeling awful, he’s there to help, and I lash out at him.
Four months out of school and he still doesn’t have a job. Also he didn’t apply for school next semester. What are his plans for the future? I ask, he doesn’t know. He thinks it will “all work out.” So tonight I told him if he doesn’t get a job next week, I’m kicking him out. He left for three hours – I thought maybe he was wandering around looking for jobs, but no, he was sitting in the park “thinking.”
In my mind, I think he’s a spineless looser, but up front I try to be supportive. The problem is, he lived with his parents until he was 28, then moved straight in with me. I feel like he need s a dose of “reality” or he’s always going to think things will “just happen” for him, and he won’t have to work at it.
He knows it’s serious, but he’s just worried that “getting a job is hard for him” and “what if he can’t do it.” I know he’s smart enough, but what if he can’t? I can’t take any more of this.
