I've noticed an increasing number of threads and posts that plead for more understanding and compassion for the WS. To paraphrase an old saying, "Compassion misplaced is compassion regretted". It is perfectly OK to try to understand the pov of the ws, and that is one of the purposes of TAM, to promote greater understanding. Compassion, however should always be reserved for the victim, moreso than the perpetrator. It does no good to "feel", for the ws as long as the ws still has selfish, entitled feelings of their own. The ws will simply see that as justification of their wayward behavior, not as a gift of kindness. Misplaced compassion will re-inforce the poor behavior that lead to the affair, and not focus the WS attention on the self-improvement that they need to accomplish to have a true and lasting R.