Man, that sounds like my life for about 5 years. I volunteered for combat, I felt abandoned and did not care if I lived. When I came back...that was enough. I told her we had to be a married couple in every sense of the word. I was not going to continue to be just the local handyman and child support check. She listened and it did not change over night. But we learned the skills and became marital partners again.A wound is less painful after time when it scares over, but you will always remember what caused the scar and remember the pain it caused.
He should have said something or divorced first.
My wife's was always in 1st place in my life(as it should be). After we had kids, I was moved to 4th, kids were moved to 1st, as she was trying to be supermom and pouring all of herself into them.
Behind them remained work, them the house(she was a stickler about the house, had to be exactly right).
I was moved to back of line.
I felt forgotten and abandoned by my wife, what made it most difficult, I am one who feels loved by physical intimacy. Sex dropped to 3x month and it was damaging the emotional connection I felt to my wife.
What ever she complained about or what ever I could see she needed help with in the house, I did. I was doing over 1/2 the house work and all of the yard work. But it still did not make room for time for us. Just gave her time to relax or do another project she wanted to do.
It got to the point I was at the end of my rope and was seriously contemplating divorce, I was feeling so alone. I was finding other women attractive and I did not like that, I wanted my wife, who was always concerned with other things. But I had moral standards that would not have allowed me to commit adultery.
She could tell there was something seriously wrong(I swear that woman can read my mind) and we finally communicated and she finally understood. She had preconceived ideas about men and sex, from her serial cheating POS ex hubby) and she was applying those to me.
She changed and I quit holding in things when she did something that made me angry. I started speaking my mind. We were again both each other's priority and the kids were 2nd, as it should be in a healthy moral relationship. His moral terpitude allowed him to cheat, plain and simple.