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My wife recently lost 210 pounds from gastric bypass surgery.In a sense,it's like having sex with a new woman,which creates a lot of excitement.Also since now that she is in better shape,she is doing kegel exercises which has tightened her vagina.Anyway I can't go for longer than two minutes during intercourse.One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds.I was really embarrassed and I guess she could tell from my facial expressions. I wasn't suffering from Premature ejaculation before.Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.
 

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Are you satisfied?

If so, don't worry about it. You have to trust your wife to tell you the truth, so if she says it doesn't matter than it doesn't matter. Be sure to be as open with her as you can and let her be free to express to you that if she's not happy, to let you know. But if she says she is happy, believe her.
 

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A good problem to have. So just extend the foreplay and give her a few orgasms from oral, fingers or toys before intercourse. She probably feels so good about herself already with the weight loss and your quick loads are merely reaffirming that for her.
 

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She cares!

She did all that work to improve herself and now she's got 13 seconds worth of sex from you.

Make up for it with cunnilinguis

And a lot of flowers.
So his wife is a liar?

I'm sure she improved herself for a variety of reasons, and there's no guarantee sex even factored into that decision. The OP certainly didn't imply or say that sexual function was a reason behind the weight loss. Additionally, he did say his wife has told him she doesn't care. So why are you so certain that she does care and he's failing her?
 
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So his wife is a liar?
There's a difference between lying and being tactful so you don't hurt someone's feelings.

Just like he probably didn't tell her she was fat, that's not a lie either.

I find it hard to believe that she doesn't care that sex takes 13 seconds,unless she doesn't care for sex at all in which case there are bigger issues here.

Op,

Use a condom to decrease sensitivity, jerk off more, think about scenes of horribly mutilated accident victims during sex, or picture yourself screwing another dude, that sort of thing will probably slow you down.
 

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My wife recently lost 210 pounds from gastric bypass surgery.In a sense,it's like having sex with a new woman,which creates a lot of excitement.Also since now that she is in better shape,she is doing kegel exercises which has tightened her vagina.Anyway I can't go for longer than two minutes during intercourse.One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds.I was really embarrassed and I guess she could tell from my facial expressions. I wasn't suffering from Premature ejaculation before.Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.
Maybe it makes her feel good that she is now so hot that you cannot control yourself with her. That might be quite a head trip for her.

you will probably get more control of this with time. So as others have said.. more foreplay and get her off first.

Work with it, not against.
 

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There's a difference between lying and being tactful so you don't hurt someone's feelings.

Just like he probably didn't tell her she was fat, that's not a lie either.

I find it hard to believe that she doesn't care that sex takes 13 seconds,unless she doesn't care for sex at all in which case there are bigger issues here.

Op,

Use a condom to decrease sensitivity, jerk off more, think about scenes of horribly mutilated accident victims during sex, or picture yourself screwing another dude, that sort of thing will probably slow you down.
First, it would be a lie if she asked him if she was fat and he said no or even insinuated she wasn't. Likewise, if he asked her if she was satisfied and she says, as he said in his OP "she claims that she doesn't care" then that would be a lie if she did actually care.

Secondly, we both may be operating under the false understanding that sex actually only lasts 13 seconds. As he said in his OP "One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds." This would indicate they were having sex missionary style first, and he only went in 13 seconds AFTER they switched positions. As well, I do hope the Op is offering, or doing, additional things for his wife to help her out if she wants/needs them. I'll leave it to him to elaborate on if that is happening becuase if it isn't, I agree Sharkeey it should at least be offered.
 
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Yes, she's a liar... if you must call her something. I'd say she's just being a kind wfe. Not too many loving, caring wives would tell their husband that he sucks in bed since he can only last between 13 seconds and two minutes. Its easier to say "of it's fine hunny" and then go masturbate. I'm sure she's doing the kegel excercises to enhance their sex life, thirteen seconds isn't enhanced... apparently it's a decrease since he wasn't having the PE before.

OP: I can imagine that having a hot new wife makes you feel excited and quick triger, as time goes by and you become more accustomed to the new her, it'll probably decrease. In the interim, just use other modes to satisfy her, oral, fingering, vibrator/dildo... make it fun and try new things. I'm sure she'd love al the extra sexual attention from you.

So his wife is a liar?

I'm sure she improved herself for a variety of reasons, and there's no guarantee sex even factored into that decision. The OP certainly didn't imply or say that sexual function was a reason behind the weight loss. Additionally, he did say his wife has told him she doesn't care. So why are you so certain that she does care and he's failing her?
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So his wife is a liar?

I'm sure she improved herself for a variety of reasons, and there's no guarantee sex even factored into that decision. The OP certainly didn't imply or say that sexual function was a reason behind the weight loss. Additionally, he did say his wife has told him she doesn't care. So why are you so certain that she does care and he's failing her?
maybe I'm wrong but if a chick gets on top she is looking for a ride not a quick place to sit a rest her feet.

You might have to start rubbing one out before you guys hook up.
 

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First, it would be a lie if she asked him if she was fat and he said no or even insinuated she wasn't. Likewise, if he asked her if she was satisfied and she says, as he said in his OP "she claims that she doesn't care" then that would be a lie if she did actually care.
Ok, fine. You win the "what constitutes a lie" debate, but I'll stand by my assertion that it does most likely bother her that he's not lasting all that long, and he's gotta go through the usual steps to rectify his problem or she's going to probably go look for it elsewhere. Especially if it's well under a minute.

Think about it from her point of view. She's thin, she's hot, she's exploring new sexual boundaries, and here's her lover who can't even remotely keep up with her.

This problem has to be fixed. ASAP.
 

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Yes, she's a liar... if you must call her something. I'd say she's just being a kind wfe. Not too many loving, caring wives would tell their husband that he sucks in bed since he can only last between 13 seconds and two minutes. Its easier to say "of it's fine hunny" and then go masturbate. I'm sure she's doing the kegel excercises to enhance their sex life, thirteen seconds isn't enhanced... apparently it's a decrease since he wasn't having the PE before.

OP: I can imagine that having a hot new wife makes you feel excited and quick triger, as time goes by and you become more accustomed to the new her, it'll probably decrease. In the interim, just use other modes to satisfy her, oral, fingering, vibrator/dildo... make it fun and try new things. I'm sure she'd love al the extra sexual attention from you.


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I just love this board sometimes.

Almost all the time we hear it preached that couples need to communicate, communicate, communicate. Now here is a man that is wanting to be sure he's actually satisfying his wife and instead of being told he should accept what his wife is communicating to him, he rather should view her as a liar, or as a 'kind wife' and actually go against what she is saying and insist that she is actually not sexually fulfilled and keep pushing for a solution to a problem that, based on what his wife is communicating, doesn't actually exist.

Additionally, there is ways to be a kind wife and still not say your husband 'sucks' in bed. How about something like "If you want sex to last longer, let's try different positions until we find something that works," or "How about we go for round two later tonight" or something where you can clearly indicate you're up for a longer session while being supportive?

If your spouse can't be honest with you, about everything, including sex (especially when the other spouse is someone like the OP who clearly wants to discuss the issue and wants to fix it), then you have bigger issues than sex.
 
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Why does sex have to end just because he orgasms? I love when I can make my husband cum quickly! Then he takes care of me.

And if I just lost 210 pounds, I'd be stoked that you think I'm so hot that you cum like a 15 year old boy.!
 

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Ok, fine. You win the "what constitutes a lie" debate, but I'll stand by my assertion that it does most likely bother her that he's not lasting all that long, and he's gotta go through the usual steps to rectify his problem or she's going to probably go look for it elsewhere. Especially if it's well under a minute.

Think about it from her point of view. She's thin, she's hot, she's exploring new sexual boundaries, and here's her lover who can't even remotely keep up with her.

This problem has to be fixed. ASAP.
So she can sit there and say "there's no problem" to her husband, but then inside get frustrated, turn to another man and get laid like tile, and all of that is his fault for not mindreading and figuring out what it is she wants/needs in bed? Why not demand he throw a bullseye in the dark too?
 
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I'm sure in time it will correct itself.

Just be fun with sex. It's not all about PIV.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
First, it would be a lie if she asked him if she was fat and he said no or even insinuated she wasn't. Likewise, if he asked her if she was satisfied and she says, as he said in his OP "she claims that she doesn't care" then that would be a lie if she did actually care.

Secondly, we both may be operating under the false understanding that sex actually only lasts 13 seconds. As he said in his OP "One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds." This would indicate they were having sex missionary style first, and he only went in 13 seconds AFTER they switched positions. As well, I do hope the Op is offering, or doing, additional things for his wife to help her out if she wants/needs them. I'll leave it to him to elaborate on if that is happening becuase if it isn't, I agree Sharkeey it should at least be offered.
Thanks for replying.Yes,I do do things to please her other than intercourse.Oral Sex,clitoral stimulation,etc.
 

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Ok, fine. You win the "what constitutes a lie" debate, but I'll stand by my assertion that it does most likely bother her that he's not lasting all that long, and he's gotta go through the usual steps to rectify his problem or she's going to probably go look for it elsewhere. Especially if it's well under a minute.

Think about it from her point of view. She's thin, she's hot, she's exploring new sexual boundaries, and here's her lover who can't even remotely keep up with her.

This problem has to be fixed. ASAP.
Some of us just hang out at the CWI section of this forum, don't we.:)

Whats even scarier is sharkeey is more right then wrong with regards to the infidelity aspect to all of this.
 

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Why does sex have to end just because he orgasms? I love when I can make my husband cum quickly! Then he takes care of me.
Because we get very tired after we cum, going down on her is the last thing we want to do. It's nearly impossible to fight the urge to roll over and close our eyes. Then again maybe he isn't all that tired if it's only been a minute or thereabouts.

So she can sit there and say "there's no problem" to her husband, but then inside get frustrated, turn to another man and get laid like tile, and all of that is his fault for not mindreading and figuring out what it is she wants/needs in bed? Why not demand he throw a bullseye in the dark too?
Because people often have trouble being honest. Yes, ideally she would tell him the truth, not that it would help, but regardless that's probably what will happen. She'll remain quiet, and eventually out of sheer frustration she will stray.


Some of us just hang out at the CWI section of this forum, don't we.:)

Whats even scarier is sharkeey is more right then wrong with regards to the infidelity aspect to all of this.
Why is it scary that I am more right than wrong?

Why is it scary that some people hang out in the CWI section?
 

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Yes, he should view her as a liar if she's clearly working to enhance their sex life by doing the kegels yet she is "saying" that she's fine with 13 second sex.
Much like a man who's wife has gained excessive weight saying he's "fine" with her body while he stops having sex with her so he can watch porn.

Non verbal communication is the main way we communicate. And her non verbal communication... kegels, weight loss, new found sexual desires, is saying she wants good sex.

Good sex lasts more than two minutes, it just does

I just love this board sometimes.

Almost all the time we hear it preached that couples need to communicate, communicate, communicate. Now here is a man that is wanting to be sure he's actually satisfying his wife and instead of being told he should accept what his wife is communicating to him, he rather should view her as a liar, or as a 'kind wife' and actually go against what she is saying and insist that she is actually not sexually fulfilled and keep pushing for a solution to a problem that, based on what his wife is communicating, doesn't actually exist.

Additionally, there is ways to be a kind wife and still not say your husband 'sucks' in bed. How about something like "If you want sex to last longer, let's try different positions until we find something that works," or "How about we go for round two later tonight" or something where you can clearly indicate you're up for a longer session while being supportive?

If your spouse can't be honest with you, about everything, including sex (especially when the other spouse is someone like the OP who clearly wants to discuss the issue and wants to fix it), then you have bigger issues than sex.
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Because we get very tired after we cum, going down on her is the last thing we want to do. It's nearly impossible to fight the urge to roll over and close our eyes. Then again maybe he isn't all that tired if it's only been a minute or thereabouts.
I don't know who this 'we' is, but don't count me in it. I'm quite happy (and wide awake) enough to keep going (PIV or in other ways) until my fiancee has had hers if she so desires. Sex should be about both of you, not a race to go first.

Because people often have trouble being honest. Yes, ideally she would tell him the truth, not that it would help, but regardless that's probably what will happen. She'll remain quiet, and eventually out of sheer frustration she will stray.
And again, that's on her. Even if he does guess that she really is lying and really does want something else, what's to say this won't be repeated behaviour down the road and in fact she expects him to solve her riddles in other situations, sexual or not? If that is the truth, then this relationship will eventually blow up anyways because no one is a mindreader and eventually he won't figure out what she's missing and she'll get it elsewhere. You have to be expected to at least tell your partner what it is you want, and there is other ways to get it than being blunt and saying "you suck in bed, last longer or I'm going elsewhere."
 
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