[Cooper]

I am a 52 year old male who has been involved in a relationship for four months with a great lady but I have come to think that I am cheating her of the love she deserves.

I can easily say I have fallen in love with her but her love for me is way over the top. She constantly is telling me how she has never felt this kind of love before, how she loves me more and more each day, how she knows she could never love another man like she loves me, how she would never get over it if we broke up. It's certainly nice to hear all that but my emotions just aren't in the same place and it makes me feel like her constantly saying those things is a way of fishing for me to say the same sort of things to her, and I just can't do it.

I have been honest with her and told her her emotions are moving much faster than mine and I'm not comfortable hearing things like "I could never love another like you" but she either doesn't listen or doesn't care and just keeps repeating those things. She tells me she is OK with the way things are and is willing to slow down and see how it goes but she just doesn't and each time we are together I'm smothered in love the I can't fully reciprocate.

So ladies what can I do to get her feet back on the ground, I really don't want to stop seeing her but I'm feeling like I will never be able to match her passion and that just doesn't seem fair.

 

[Chelle D]

She sounds very emotionally needy.

Tell her she agreed to take it slower. Wait at least a week before you see her again. Then, when you do see her, make it an activity that there isn't a lot of talking time.

Don't reply to her constant need to voice her love. Or just tell her "we're not doing that tonight." we'll talk about emotions another time. If she can't relax & just have fun with you... Maybe then you need to tell her that you need to cool off, because you two are not on the same level.
you'll call her sometime to go out & have fun together soon. (Make sure it's a tone of "don't call me, I'll call you".

Then do call her in a couple weeks, and see if she is calmer about going out with you.

JMO. Might be wrong, but just my opinion

 

[827Aug]

I see red flags on her as well. What's the history/story on her? It sounds as though she may be in a hurry to get that ring on the finger.

 

[Toffer]

FOUR MONTHS???

Sounds a little scary.

 

[I'mInLoveWithMyHubby]

Her actions/words are a bit over the top.

You might like it now, but you may get annoyed after a while and this will push you away. Tell her to slow down or back off a bit. Let her know that you'd like to take things slower and you feel as if they are moving too fast. She how she reacts. If she goes ballistic and starts stalking you(even through Internet), then you have a problem on your hands.

 

[BeachGuy]

...how she would never get over it if we broke up.

That's the one that would scare me the most.

Were it me, I'd start backing off a bit. Not completely, but stop spending as much time together for awhile.

 

[IsGirl3]

i'd be scared. it's sounds emotionally manipulative. it seems like if it progresses, she might become incredibly possessive, jealous, and controlling of where you've been, who you're talking to, and other kinds of control that insecurity might wield. her deep deep love (which seems unlikely, though possible, after 4 months) might become a noose around your neck and you'll be stifled.

 

[bbrad]

Is she 19?

 

[Cooper]

One of the things that initially attracted me to this lady was her seemingly having it all together, emotionally, financially, family, intelligence, she seems to have the entire package. I have found myself backing off and she has realized this and asked why, I told her again her emotions are so much further along than mine that it's concerning for me the way she talks. Sunday she sent me an email apoligizing for not listening to my concerns and for being so pushy, so we will see how it goes.

By the way she is a 52 year old window but was in the process of a divorce when her husband died due to surgery complications, that was over three years ago. I don't think she's in a hurry to get married but she acts more like a 15 year old love sick kid than an adult.

 

[Soccerfan73]

That would make me want to run actually. Hopefully she's getting a better handle on it now.

 

[ShawnD]

Obligatory drug suggestions:
You can increase your sex drive a lot by taking tranylcypromine (an MAOI antidepressant).
Her sex drive can be cut down by taking fluoxetine (SSRI antidepressant). Fluoxetine also makes people less needy.

Was her husband more like a father figure or something? Give her an allowance, treat her like a retarded child, expect her to have absolutely no skills, etc?

 

[momof2bellas]

FOUR MONTHS???

Sounds a little scary.

I agree!

 

[southern wife]

FOUR MONTHS???

Sounds a little scary.

:iagree: I'm getting that same feeling. "Eeeewwww" initially came to my mind.

 

[COguy]

Tell her you feel the same! Then put a rock on that finger! What could go wrong???


Oy...my psycho radar is beeping like crazy.