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I concur with the others. Start divorce proceedings. It will protect you financially from her soaking you with new debt. I would also separate bank accounts and cancel any joint credit cards. Tell her you are OK with "open" part, just not the marriage part. Tell her to be sure and make him wear protection as he is probably a walking infestation of STDs.

Do not file in expectation of her stopping. File because your self respect will not allow you to be cuckolded by her.
 

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Excellent. You did what you said you would. This breaks it down to two possible outcomes. She either stops the EA or you divorce her. These are clear black and white choices. But I will wager that she will call you saying OK. She would be lying. She will send the affair deeper underground so she can eat cake a while longer. Her plan will be a delaying tactic only. Move forward, protect yourself financially and cut her off.
 
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