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She said he can’t afford it on his own. I doubt he has the money to buy her out. I also doubt the bank is going to refinance with him only. She needs to get her name off the mortgage if he ‘gets’ the house.
Oh I see that now. And yes for sure she wants her name off of everything. I hope the OP sees a lawyer, I bet she has more options than she thinks. I am also worried about the goats. 🥺
 
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Discussion Starter · #42 ·
Nothing bad will happen to the goats. I’m wondering if I could pay to Baird the goats on a property much like horses are boarded at stables. Hmm. Probably not. I mean I’d hate to do that but if I needed just a temporary place for them. I’d live in a mobile home though if it meant having a large property where I could keep the goats with me.
 

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Oh I see that now. And yes for sure she wants her name off of everything. I hope the OP sees a lawyer, I bet she has more options than she thinks. I am also worried about the goats. 🥺
One could always eat the goats 😉 . I'm kidding. Mostly.
No, really just pulling your leg. Goat bbq is quite good though.
 
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Discussion Starter · #50 ·
You are only 34... get out of this mess and find a man you really fancy, not a man-child. And carry on with the therapy.
Yes man child is it. Made me cry before work for yelling at me about something stupid. I was standing in a doorway.

Then I didn’t get home until after 9 pm. I had to feed all pets, change everybody’s water, and make myself dinner while he just sat on the sofa the whole time playing games. I’m not asking him to wait on me but if your spouse is working late is it too much to do a few of your shared household tasks so they don’t have to get home at 9 and do everything themselves before dropping into bed?

He also made a mess with something he was working on. Asked him what he was going to do about the mess and he goes “don’t be a b*tch!” Well, there’s paint thinner all over this box outside and it’s a mess so I was just asking. So I went to bed crying too since he was a selfish mean person during the evening as well. Then he got mad at me for crying.
 
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Discussion Starter · #52 ·
I found a lawyer who will give me a free consultation at least. All I can afford right now! They also have some free legal advice services here so I will probably contact them as well.

It’s mainly the finances that are holding me back at this point, I think. Once I can figure out what to do there then I’ll feel a lot better about moving forward. I have to not fly by the seat of my pants and come up with an actual plan regarding how to get out of this mess money-wise.
 

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Yes man child is it. Made me cry before work for yelling at me about something stupid. I was standing in a doorway.

Then I didn’t get home until after 9 pm. I had to feed all pets, change everybody’s water, and make myself dinner while he just sat on the sofa the whole time playing games. I’m not asking him to wait on me but if your spouse is working late is it too much to do a few of your shared household tasks so they don’t have to get home at 9 and do everything themselves before dropping into bed?

He also made a mess with something he was working on. Asked him what he was going to do about the mess and he goes “don’t be a b*tch!” Well, there’s paint thinner all over this box outside and it’s a mess so I was just asking. So I went to bed crying too since he was a selfish mean person during the evening as well. Then he got mad at me for crying.
Terrible man.... I don't know how you put up with that crap.
 

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In Canada you can be granted a divorce based on the following grounds:
-Separated for a year
-One of you committed adultery
-Your spouse has inflicted physical and/mental harm to you

So my only option right now is 1 year separation.
This is what I remember from my separation and later divorce in Quebec and Ontario. This was a many years ago… when men were real men, and women were real women and goats were real goats:) Your lawyer will give you better information

Separation is the biggest step. You do the financial separation and whatever your STBXH does, you’re not responsible for.

You can live in the same house, I did that, but the CRA came back to me and told I was still married, can’t file as single. You also get to see your STBXH date other people so you truly have to be done in your mind. In my case I didn’t care but YMMV.

The divorce 1year later is just rubber stamping.

From what I read from your other posts, you are miserable with this man. My advice is to try to detach from him as much as possible. Don’t sleep in the same room. Don’t eat with him cook for him, don’t do anything for him. You really need to detach for your peace of mind. You are divorcing him. He can date 20 other girls or boys, he can play video games all day or whatever. He is your X,and you are moving on to a better life. The opposite of love is not gate but indifference…

good luck!
 
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Discussion Starter · #55 ·
This is what I remember from my separation and later divorce in Quebec and Ontario. This was a many years ago… when men were real men, and women were real women and goats were real goats:) Your lawyer will give you better information

Separation is the biggest step. You do the financial separation and whatever your STBXH does, you’re not responsible for.

You can live in the same house, I did that, but the CRA came back to me and told I was still married, can’t file as single. You also get to see your STBXH date other people so you truly have to be done in your mind. In my case I didn’t care but YMMV.

The divorce 1year later is just rubber stamping.

From what I read from your other posts, you are miserable with this man. My advice is to try to detach from him as much as possible. Don’t sleep in the same room. Don’t eat with him cook for him, don’t do anything for him. You really need to detach for your peace of mind. You are divorcing him. He can date 20 other girls or boys, he can play video games all day or whatever. He is your X,and you are moving on to a better life. The opposite of love is not gate but indifference…

good luck!
Detach detach detach
 
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Discussion Starter · #56 ·
Seems like maybe he’s detaching already himself. There was definitely a very different feeling in the air this morning while we were getting ready for work. No words spoken until I reminded him that I’ll be home late. He said he has plans with friends from work and will be home late. That was that. Don’t think he would have even told me at all if I hadn’t said I was going to be late.

I’m feeling pretty sad today.
 

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Ask your lawyer about an easy payment plan. I'm adamantly opposed to debt, but I'm even more adamantly opposed to living in hell. An indeterminate state is hell.
 
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Discussion Starter · #59 ·
It sure would be nice if you could get off this rollercoaster, wouldn't it? Detaching from him is the best course of action. And getting your ducks in a row so you can move on. Neither of you have been happy for a long time. 😔
Yes it would feel very nice. What’s it like to have a life where you’re not constantly upset every day? I’m sure it’s not normal to be with somebody who makes you upset on a daily basis. At the same time I feel very queasy about the change.
 
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