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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not sure if this is a good place to turn. I've done IC for myself, we've tried some MC - when wife decides it fits her schedule. We're both engineers, so sometimes imagination loses out to factual data. Getting ready to retire in a few years - and not sure if we'll be able to handle that much 'together without jobs to distract us' time. Not sure what to do - I really, really miss affection, spontaneity, doing things together, etc. I'm really wondering what I expect from this group if MC can't help us.
 

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lets start with where is the marriage today
what has it been like
why does it look like your wife is not making the effort to go to mc more often
would a change of MC help would other help be needed and how open would she be to it

A LOT OF QUESTIONS
and only starting
 

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I'm not sure if this is a good place to turn. I've done IC for myself, we've tried some MC - when wife decides it fits her schedule. We're both engineers, so sometimes imagination loses out to factual data. Getting ready to retire in a few years - and not sure if we'll be able to handle that much 'together without jobs to distract us' time. Not sure what to do - I really, really miss affection, spontaneity, doing things together, etc. I'm really wondering what I expect from this group if MC can't help us.
Welcome to TAM!

Start doing things together now “without jobs to distract” you. Start small and ramp up your time together now in prep for the big retirements. Learn to to enjoy life , not just work.
 

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I’m an engineer and have that factual brain. The bottom line is that counselors deal greatly in emotion and feelings but unfortunately that often runs counterintuitive to the way we think/live. This can make marriage difficult for both sides of a union. I can find enough information on the internet and books that I will never believe a counselor services any possible purpose.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Since you say that miss affection, are you saying that the sex in your marriage stopped? Retirement isn't going to fix that. You need to figure out why it stopped.
Sex? I've almost forgotten what that is. Not kidding - 3x in the last 8 years! Beyond dead bedroom; this one is mummified, if not fossilized!
 
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