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124 Posts
Trigger-what do you do when you hear the other name while together?
Hello, I have been reading the Tam forums on and off for a little over a year. My husband had a indiscretion many years ago and since then I've mostly healed and moved on. However, I still have what you all like to call "triggers", and the one that bothers me still the most is hearing the name of the other person even after all these years. Even if we're out and about and we meet a lady, and she says "Hi, my name is _______. I get this heat that rises inside of me. It's worst when we're together and we hear it together. It also happens when we're watching some show, which happens a lot because it's a very popular name which sucks for me and for us. I could tell my husband shudders when he hears the name too. It's just very difficult for me to pretend that our marriage didn't dangerously come close to ending because of the person connected to that name. btw it took us YEARS to heal! I was in complete anguish for at least the first 4 years.
I would just like to know what is your reaction, or how do you both behave/handle it when you're together in the same room and you hear "that name"? I mean the second you hear that name.
I would love to get past this once and for all. Can't tell you how many movies we used to love and can't even watch anymore because they have "that name" in it. Please help us!
Hello, I have been reading the Tam forums on and off for a little over a year. My husband had a indiscretion many years ago and since then I've mostly healed and moved on. However, I still have what you all like to call "triggers", and the one that bothers me still the most is hearing the name of the other person even after all these years. Even if we're out and about and we meet a lady, and she says "Hi, my name is _______. I get this heat that rises inside of me. It's worst when we're together and we hear it together. It also happens when we're watching some show, which happens a lot because it's a very popular name which sucks for me and for us. I could tell my husband shudders when he hears the name too. It's just very difficult for me to pretend that our marriage didn't dangerously come close to ending because of the person connected to that name. btw it took us YEARS to heal! I was in complete anguish for at least the first 4 years.
I would just like to know what is your reaction, or how do you both behave/handle it when you're together in the same room and you hear "that name"? I mean the second you hear that name.
I would love to get past this once and for all. Can't tell you how many movies we used to love and can't even watch anymore because they have "that name" in it. Please help us!