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Which would you prefer?

  • Independent!

    Votes: 15 42.9%
  • Traditional!

    Votes: 20 57.1%
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When people generally say "traditional" woman, I think to myself that they mean a stereotypical traditional woman that perhaps June Cleaver was. Stereotypical 1950's housewife.

I guess an independent woman is a stereotypical woman opposite of the stereotypical housewife.





A nice respectable lady, and a boss woman..


Someone who knows how to act in public.

Preferably one who doesn't drink at all..or has a drink very very seldom.


No one that brings me drama.

Someone that doesn't jump on the trend of "dehumanizing" men.

Independent lady who works outside the home primarily and occasionally in the home.


A good communicator, and listener.

Someone who doesn't blame me and all men for their problems or for life not working out in their favor.


Someone who is about her business, and knows her worth. who doesn't see me as a cash cow.

Who will actually contribute financially, and take me out on dates and pamper me sometimes.


Someone that puts in down in the bedroom, but can do alot..from changing a tire to installing drywall.

A woman with range.


A nice round plump rump would be lovely.
 

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I liked your post but I think it comes with the caveat that "financially independent" women who are not Co-dependent will leave rather than nag. I know plenty of financially independent women who put up with ****ty spouses because they are emotionally co-dependent with them.
Codependent is the antithesis to independent, in my view. I see what you're saying, but I just choke calling codependent people independent. I would say financially they are fine and if they were independent other ways, they could and might leave.

And then I've known mostly women who were independent but not that well off financially who would still leave, and that would describe me.
 
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If by traditional you mean the wife stays home and raises the kid while the dad goes to work, then I'll take traditional....all....day...long. I was raised in a traditional household and I wanted my kids to have a mom to come home to after school rather than staying at school to 6 pm like our neighbor kid has to. I wanted my wife there when they got home. I did, however, give my wife the option of doing whatever she wanted to; i'm glad she chose to stay home and raise the boys.
 

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When I think of a traditional woman, I sure don't think of a woman who is adventurous in the bedroom, so I'm surprised to see most guys think that's what they want considering the prevailing sexual attitude on this forum. Being a traditional woman doesn't equate to doing anything you say sexually at all. If they have traditional old-fashioned ethics, it's likely they are not bent that way.

There has always been the old saying that men want a cook in the kitchen and a w***e in the bedroom, and I think that may be true for many men. Fortunately, some men now realize how boring an old-fashioned traditional woman can be, more like a mother taking care of them than anything else, which isn't sexy for either of them; but hey, if they're traditional and mild and have blinders on, then the man can do whatever he wants without her kicking up dust, can't he?
 

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Discussion Starter · #105 ·
When I think of a traditional woman, I sure don't think of a woman who is adventurous in the bedroom, so I'm surprised to see most guys think that's what they want considering the prevailing sexual attitude on this forum. Being a traditional woman doesn't equate to doing anything you say sexually at all. If they have traditional old-fashioned ethics, it's likely they are not bent that way.

There has always been the old saying that men want a cook in the kitchen and a w***e in the bedroom, and I think that may be true for many men. Fortunately, some men now realize how boring an old-fashioned traditional woman can be, more like a mother taking care of them than anything else, which isn't sexy for either of them; but hey, if they're traditional and mild and have blinders on, then the man can do whatever he wants without her kicking up dust, can't he?
Considering I had two long term exs nag me for sex too I think I missed out on all this traditional loving! 😅

Maybe I could have been happier :unsure:
Oh well, will never know now, but nice to think about :giggle:
 

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I picked traditional, but it was a hesitant pick and depends on the criteria.

My wife has been a SAHM off and on for the past (almost) 14 years, which I wanted. She isn't opposed to working though and is a RN (and dislikes being dependent on a man). I wouldn't want someone who absolutely refused to work just because they were born with a vagina, or someone who wanted to be a SAHW (no kids). But I do think women should stay home with the kids and that sacrifices should be made to make that happen.

I don't think less of her because she doesn't bring in an income. I appreciate that she stays home and everything that she does, and that she is good at it and that it comes naturally to her. I'm traveling for work every other week right now, and during that time my wife is a single parent to 6 kids - 13, 11, 6, 23 months, 14 months, 3 months. She has had no help while I'm gone and is totally fine. I like and need to be able to trust that she can handle things at home. I know some women (all career-driven) who cannot figure out how to parent 1-2 kids without their husband, live-in nanny, or mother around, even for a short time. I think it's pathetic and I wouldn't want a woman like that.

But if the criteria to be a traditional woman is being a helpless, uneducated wimp, then she isn't one.

She doesn't freak out if she sees a bug and doesn't call me to fix the smoke detectors. If something breaks, she fixes it. If something needs to be built, she builds it. If she needs to mount blinds, a TV, etc., she does it. If she wants to rearrange furniture, she shoves it across the house, up stairs, etc. If some sort of device/computer stops working, she figures it out. If the grass needs to be cut, she cuts it. If her car needs new wipers, bulbs, has a dead battery, etc., she can take care of it. If she doesn't know how to do something she looks it up, and if she's really stuck, then she gets me to do it or help.

She doesn't NEED a man around, and I like that. I don't want some helpless little thing.

She is attracted to me doing the "male things" though. She doesn't lose her **** or get offended if I do something for her or open a door for her. She likes and wants me to do those things and make the decisions. She usually offers me the chance to do something (especially now with so many kids and so little time), but takes care of it herself if I'm not home at the time or if I can't/don't get to it in time. But there is no "I can take care of myself, thank you very much" attitude. I would HATE to be with a woman like that. I would also hate to be with a woman who acts like a baby around a bug or can't problem solve.
 

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One of my cousins married a woman who absolutely refuses to cut the grass, change a light bulb, open a car door, etc. To the point that at one Christmas dinner my cousin didn't open her car door so she didn't get out. She sat in the freezing cold car for hours until he got back in and went home. She does work and is very career driven, no kids. She dragged the divorce out for 4-5 years, fighting over everything, wanting more money, more of their businesses, etc. So I'm not sure WTF she is, besides a nightmare hitting both ends of the spectrum at once.

They are now divorced. She had an affair and ran off with that guy to live in a trailer with him. Very romantic love story.
 

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One of my cousins married a woman who absolutely refuses to cut the grass, change a light bulb, open a car door, etc. To the point that at one Christmas dinner my cousin didn't open her car door so she didn't get out. She sat in the freezing cold car for hours until he got back in and went home. She does work and is very career driven, no kids. She dragged the divorce out for 4-5 years, fighting over everything, wanting more money, more of their businesses, etc. So I'm not sure WTF she is, besides a nightmare hitting both ends of the spectrum at once.

They are now divorced. She had an affair and ran off with that guy to live in a trailer with him. Very romantic love story.
Primadonna
 

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One of my old boyfriends ended up marrying a woman, like Bobert said, a stay-at-home wife, no kids.

His first wife had a steady job and made more money than him. He had a low paying job Plus in a band that probably cost him more than he made.


Then he hastily married that one who just doesn't do anything. I seriously just can't even fathom that. It's not like she was anything resembling the trophy wife. She looked like a pudgy crazy old cow. So they must have really hit it off on some level because they are still married.
 

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Haha I do hate changing the 9V. I can never get the damn thing back on. With one of them it was peeping at 2am and I literally destroyed it. I took the battery out and somehow it was still peeping so I took it to the garage and smashed it with a hammer into little bits. I think it had a backup internally or something, no idea…
Now what a truly independent woman does is go out and buy the kind with the little drop-down door that you just pop the battery in to make it easy. We won't mention the fact that buying new ones was necessary because she broke the old ones trying to get them to shut up....

(In my defence, the chirping drove one of my dogs absolutely snaky and I couldn't handle torturing her.)
 

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Traditional=bland sex life?

Mrs. C is so traditional she could be a woman plucked from the pages of the old testament and the only limitation she has in the bedroom is anal which I've never been interested in anyway. Oh, she won't swallow either but I get it.

Otherwise, she has been very open for adventure in the bedroom and we still have a very passionate and satisfying sex life 31 years in.

She also has always held the checkbook, paid the bills and managed most everything concerning our household.

She is the interior decorator and organizes where everything goes.

While the kids were still in school, she did all domestic chores inside and sometimes yard work when I or the boys couldn't get to it.

I only recently started cooking (last 8 years or so) and she still cleans everything.

She has occasionally worked if it didn't interfere with our family and even teamed up with me for four years after the boys moved out.

We honestly aren't independent of each other at all.

We are a male and female, complimentary team.

I'm not sure what traditional might mean for others but we have as close to a biblical marriage as is possible and biblical women were sometimes both land and business owners as well as wives.(Proverbs 31).

Powerful, accomplished, capable and sexy women can still be traditional in this barbarian's view.

I'm actually attracted to capable women.
 

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Traditional=bland sex life?

Mrs. C is so traditional she could be a woman plucked from the pages of the old testament and the only limitation she has in the bedroom is anal which I've never been interested in anyway. Oh, she won't swallow either but I get it.

Otherwise, she has been very open for adventure in the bedroom and we still have a very passionate and satisfying sex life 31 years in.

She also has always held the checkbook, paid the bills and managed most everything concerning our household.

She is the interior decorator and organizes where everything goes.

While the kids were still in school, she did all domestic chores inside and sometimes yard work when I or the boys couldn't get to it.

I only recently started cooking (last 8 years or so) and she still cleans everything.

She has occasionally worked if it didn't interfere with our family and even teamed up with me for four years after the boys moved out.

We honestly aren't independent of each other at all.

We are a male and female, complimentary team.

I'm not sure what traditional might mean for others but we have as close to a biblical marriage as is possible and biblical women were sometimes both land and business owners as well as wives.(Proverbs 31).

Powerful, accomplished, capable and sexy women can still be traditional in this barbarian's view.

I'm actually attracted to capable women.
Love this!

I have a similar marriage with my husband. He sees how hard I work at home to keep everything functional and beautiful. He has his job and I have mine.
 

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there are independent or traditional values that we admire as men,
There are qualities we value in our partners that come from both sides of the spectrum.

I have always worked and have a successful career as a result. Am also very feminine, take pride in my appearance, and always made efforts to look good to my ex. I also did all of the cleaning, half the cooking (I'm not very good at it but my ex was great), and took on the primary child rearing responsibilities (my ex did actively participate which is why giving him shared custody at the divorce was a no brainer).

I did (and continue to) expect chivalry. I did need my ex to bring home the bacon (it was a matter of attraction for me), and do all of the manly chores (yardwork, home repairs).

I know SAHMs in "traditional" relationships who only raise children. They don't clean, cook, or even take care of themselves that well. They feel their job as caretaker is all that's required.

So what I'm trying to say is that comparisons between "sahm" vs "independent-career woman" are not helpful. We should be asking about the values/qualities we prefer in a partner/spouse.
 

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My wife uses me for jar openings. I recently was trying to get a champagne cork out and it wouldn’t go. I twisted it in half with my bare hands. She looked at it and was like “um…”. So a jar? Pish posh…

However… Mrs recently bought one of those rubber grippy things and now sometimes she can open her own jars. Technology is the equalizer.
 
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