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Which would you prefer?

  • Independent!

    Votes: 18 38.3%
  • Traditional!

    Votes: 29 61.7%
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I picked traditional, but it was a hesitant pick and depends on the criteria.

My wife has been a SAHM off and on for the past (almost) 14 years, which I wanted. She isn't opposed to working though and is a RN (and dislikes being dependent on a man). I wouldn't want someone who absolutely refused to work just because they were born with a vagina, or someone who wanted to be a SAHW (no kids). But I do think women should stay home with the kids and that sacrifices should be made to make that happen.

I don't think less of her because she doesn't bring in an income. I appreciate that she stays home and everything that she does, and that she is good at it and that it comes naturally to her. I'm traveling for work every other week right now, and during that time my wife is a single parent to 6 kids - 13, 11, 6, 23 months, 14 months, 3 months. She has had no help while I'm gone and is totally fine. I like and need to be able to trust that she can handle things at home. I know some women (all career-driven) who cannot figure out how to parent 1-2 kids without their husband, live-in nanny, or mother around, even for a short time. I think it's pathetic and I wouldn't want a woman like that.

But if the criteria to be a traditional woman is being a helpless, uneducated wimp, then she isn't one.

She doesn't freak out if she sees a bug and doesn't call me to fix the smoke detectors. If something breaks, she fixes it. If something needs to be built, she builds it. If she needs to mount blinds, a TV, etc., she does it. If she wants to rearrange furniture, she shoves it across the house, up stairs, etc. If some sort of device/computer stops working, she figures it out. If the grass needs to be cut, she cuts it. If her car needs new wipers, bulbs, has a dead battery, etc., she can take care of it. If she doesn't know how to do something she looks it up, and if she's really stuck, then she gets me to do it or help.

She doesn't NEED a man around, and I like that. I don't want some helpless little thing.

She is attracted to me doing the "male things" though. She doesn't lose her **** or get offended if I do something for her or open a door for her. She likes and wants me to do those things and make the decisions. She usually offers me the chance to do something (especially now with so many kids and so little time), but takes care of it herself if I'm not home at the time or if I can't/don't get to it in time. But there is no "I can take care of myself, thank you very much" attitude. I would HATE to be with a woman like that. I would also hate to be with a woman who acts like a baby around a bug or can't problem solve.
 

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One of my cousins married a woman who absolutely refuses to cut the grass, change a light bulb, open a car door, etc. To the point that at one Christmas dinner my cousin didn't open her car door so she didn't get out. She sat in the freezing cold car for hours until he got back in and went home. She does work and is very career driven, no kids. She dragged the divorce out for 4-5 years, fighting over everything, wanting more money, more of their businesses, etc. So I'm not sure WTF she is, besides a nightmare hitting both ends of the spectrum at once.

They are now divorced. She had an affair and ran off with that guy to live in a trailer with him. Very romantic love story.
 
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