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Which would you prefer?

  • Independent!

    Votes: 15 42.9%
  • Traditional!

    Votes: 20 57.1%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My last thread identified that we may all see traditional or independent women differently! :unsure:

What type of women do you say you prefer - if any? And by that how would you define a traditional or independent woman?
The stereotypes so far seem to range from kitchen appliances to man-haters 😅
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My wife is my ideal combo. She comes from a male dominant segment of the Aussie culture and is good with the man running things. However, she is feisty and can handle domineering men who cross the line. She has an independent quirkiness which drew me to her.
There's a reason I omitted a "both" option on the poll, I want to see preferences lol

Which side of the fence do you lean most towards etc etc :p
 

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If she expects me to rely on her in the house or do stuff like handle my medications / doctor appointments, we're probably not going to get along.

Similarly, if she's going to treat the relationship as a business partnership, that's probably going to be a problem too. 'Independent' often implies being less committed, having one foot out the door.

I'm a bit "different" so independent is less likely to have unmet expectations herself so I would expect a more tranquil / happier home life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
On the previous thread it was noted that the traits of a traditional woman included being the rock for the man, nurturing and not comparing him to other men etc. At the same time I know I look at women who aren't financially independent a lot differently than a woman who is. So I voted independent.

Yet if that's what a traditional woman is like, then I guess I've missed out my whole life.
 

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I've had a bit of dating experience over the years and that experience has made me treasure a more traditionally minded, feminine woman. I'd rather not have to worry about a woman that scoffs at the prospect of her cooking dinner. I don't want to worry that my wife might raise our kids to be LGBTQ just because she can earn clout online. No thanks. Gimme a Conservative, Trad-wife.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I've had a bit of dating experience over the years and that experience has made me treasure a more traditionally minded, feminine woman. I'd rather not have to worry about a woman that scoffs at the prospect of her cooking dinner. I don't want to worry that my wife might raise our kids to be LGBTQ just because she can earn clout online. No thanks. Gimme a Conservative, Trad-wife.
I'm thinking what is resonating in my thoughts right now is about respect when mentioned on the other thread. A traditional woman respects her husband as principle. An independent woman, demands that respect be earned.

Sometimes to earn that respect you will have to put the foot down. My mistake was tolerating a lot of crap, but what else can we do as men but weather their bullsh-t out of love? They are already guaranteed their crazy phases each month.

Meh, this is why I threw a wrench at the whole thing.
 

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I grew up in a very traditional home. My mom never worked, cooked dinner every day, cleaned, raised children. My dad worked and was in charge of bills and house maintenance.

I think the ideal is to keep a balance in between independent and traditional. It's not easy, but it's possible. I'm more traditional and I feel independent. Maybe it's because I don't feel emotionally dependent? I don't feel threatened if I have to change roles in order to keep my family happy.
 

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I'm thinking what is resonating in my thoughts right now is about respect when mentioned on the other thread. A traditional woman respects her husband as principle. An independent woman, demands that respect be earned.

Sometimes to earn that respect you will have to put the foot down. My mistake was tolerating a lot of crap, but what else can we do as men but weather their bullsh-t out of love? They are already guaranteed their crazy phases each month.

Meh, this is why I threw a wrench at the whole thing.
..and when you DO put up with a lot of crap, they see it as a weakness, lose respect for you, and treat you accordingly. Take it from me, man, never be afraid to walk away or at least call someone out for poor behavior.

My wife was just raised in a very Conservative culture and while she feels she has to adapt a little, she still carries those values with her. She was raised to believe certain things were just her job and she takes great pride in that job. I was feeling pretty dead inside too and ready to just go be awful in the world but sometimes when you meet the right person, that changes. I got faith in you, man. I hope you find your happiness, whatever that is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I grew up in a very traditional home. My mom never worked, cooked dinner every day, cleaned, raised children. My dad worked and was in charge of bills and house maintenance.

I think the ideal is to keep a balance in between independent and traditional. It's not easy, but it's possible. I'm more traditional and I feel independent. Maybe it's because I don't feel emotionally dependent? I don't feel threatened if I have to change roles in order to keep my family happy.
From my experience most of my partners were both, all the independent women in my life cooked and cleaned for example. Makes me curious about preferences though.
 

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I'm thinking what is resonating in my thoughts right now is about respect when mentioned on the other thread. A traditional woman respects her husband as principle. An independent woman, demands that respect be earned.

Sometimes to earn that respect you will have to put the foot down. My mistake was tolerating a lot of crap, but what else can we do as men but weather their bullsh-t out of love? They are already guaranteed their crazy phases each month.

Meh, this is why I threw a wrench at the whole thing.
I think that these descriptions are overly broad. I do not find that independent women are demanding or self centered, just able to get things done without dependence on others.

I prefer a very egalitarian relationship. My wife's brother could not understand that there is not a "boss" in our relationship.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
..and when you DO put up with a lot of crap, they see it as a weakness, lose respect for you, and treat you accordingly. Take it from me, man, never be afraid to walk away or at least call someone out for poor behavior.

My wife was just raised in a very Conservative culture and while she feels she has to adapt a little, she still carries those values with her. She was raised to believe certain things were just her job and she takes great pride in that job. I was feeling pretty dead inside too and ready to just go be awful in the world but sometimes when you meet the right person, that changes. I got faith in you, man. I hope you find your happiness, whatever that is.
I've walked away from them, called them out, we just fight, and she makes up. Last one even though she starts the fight she complained that "it's always me trying to bring us back together" :rolleyes:
There's only one solution and it was the final one. Guess the relationship just had to run its course.

As for dating if I want to go back I know exactly what to do and which approach to take. Maybe one day I reach down and find something left to give after all, but it won't be much. I was already exhausted with a lot by the time I reached my last ex and I reached in as far as I could go.
 

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From my experience most of my partners were both, all the independent women in my life cooked and cleaned for example. Makes me curious about preferences though.
I prefer the traditional role because trying to be independent, career oriented is exhausting when you have a family. I don't believe women can have it all. I was exhausted working full time and going to school before having kids, I can't imagine trying to do the same now when half of my time is spent driving my kids around, feeding them, doing stuff for them... I work part time and I'm lucky to work whenever I want or whenever I can. Keeping a balance planning every day is another job! But I like it. My husband and kids are happy and that's important to me.
 
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