I am still tormented by the situation that forced me to admit that I am a sex and love addict. I haven't acted out on this, but I feel an unresolved conflict, and would like to hear some perspectives on how crazy this is and whether I should listen to my heart, or be afraid of it.
Long story short, I fell in love with a woman I met online, who turned out to be married, which she lied about, who weeks later texted me that she was in a hotel waiting for me when she wasn't there (but she said it was her husband that did that), and then, after she said her husband was in jail and everything seemed to be getting better for us again, posted a picture of herself that I was able to prove wasn't her. I suspect that all the pics I ever saw of her weren't really her. At that point, I was getting so crazy and paranoid over the lies that I abruptly cut off contact with her and got into recovery.
Now, a little over two months later, still thinking back over everything, I think she was scared, trying to protect herself and me, and manipulating the truth to try to keep a chance for us to work rather than just being honest and risking me not wanting her. I don't think anything was malicious, just bad judgment under difficult circumstances.
With this basic summary, leaving out a lot of details, is this conceivably normal behavior in a woman who is under a tremendous amount of stress, but who has fallen in love? Or am I being foolishly romantic to think this way? Might it be worth a second chance?
I don't trust myself to know what's right or wrong, which is why I have been afraid of trying to contact her. I don't even know if I could find her, if I wanted to. This may haunt me the rest of my life. My counselor told me I would be "in trouble" if I talked to her again, which I take to mean would be a step away from my recovery. But, I'm not sure I trust my counselor on this...he hasn't been interested in hearing my feelings or any details about this relationship at all. He totally dismissed it.
Long story short, I fell in love with a woman I met online, who turned out to be married, which she lied about, who weeks later texted me that she was in a hotel waiting for me when she wasn't there (but she said it was her husband that did that), and then, after she said her husband was in jail and everything seemed to be getting better for us again, posted a picture of herself that I was able to prove wasn't her. I suspect that all the pics I ever saw of her weren't really her. At that point, I was getting so crazy and paranoid over the lies that I abruptly cut off contact with her and got into recovery.
Now, a little over two months later, still thinking back over everything, I think she was scared, trying to protect herself and me, and manipulating the truth to try to keep a chance for us to work rather than just being honest and risking me not wanting her. I don't think anything was malicious, just bad judgment under difficult circumstances.
With this basic summary, leaving out a lot of details, is this conceivably normal behavior in a woman who is under a tremendous amount of stress, but who has fallen in love? Or am I being foolishly romantic to think this way? Might it be worth a second chance?
I don't trust myself to know what's right or wrong, which is why I have been afraid of trying to contact her. I don't even know if I could find her, if I wanted to. This may haunt me the rest of my life. My counselor told me I would be "in trouble" if I talked to her again, which I take to mean would be a step away from my recovery. But, I'm not sure I trust my counselor on this...he hasn't been interested in hearing my feelings or any details about this relationship at all. He totally dismissed it.
