[Ryan_sa]

Im almost 38, and have been married for just over a year, and together for 10 years before that. My wife (aged 36) has always said she wanted to have kids, but later, once she's finished her career, made more money, etc. etc.
Recently we've been going through a bit of a rough patch in our relationship, and out of the blue the other day she said she wants to have kids now. She's ready, and I must get my act together.

When is a person too old to have kids? I know it is physically possible to have them for years yet, but I don't want to be a curmudgeonly old man trying to keep up with young children!

I know 38 isn't that old, but if we start now, When the kid is 20, I'll be 60. Will we be able to give him / her the kind of parenting s/he deserves?

I've been reading about the health risks, is it worth just hoping that all goes well?

Mostly I'm worried about myself, I'm not a very patient person, and I'm worried about the disruption in my life.

Is she just saying this because she knows I've wanted kids for years, and now things are rough hopefully it will fix the relationship and me to her?

 

[PBear]

My initial thought... Having kids isn't going to fix a rough spot. Lack of sleep and sex, money concerns, learning to parent... All cause a lot of stress in a relationship.

Having said that, there's rarely a "right time" to have kids.

C
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[notperfectanymore]

Recently we've been going through a bit of a rough patch in our relationship, and out of the blue the other day she said she wants to have kids now. She's ready, and I must get my act together.

Please don't bring a child into a rocky relationship...it WILL NOT fix your problems...anyway...onto your actual question....

Please note this is coming from a child who's parents had her when they were 43 & 44, and I have a brother 16 years older than me. ( ooopssss...lol)

It was VERY DIFFICULT being raised by older parents, huge generation gap...not a lot of energy to do stuff with me.....and poor health...I buried my father when I was 17 (he was 59) and my mother when I was 22 (she was 66).

I love my parents dearly, and they did the best they could with what they had...but it was rough for me, not gonna lie...

I would seriously look into family history for health purposes. A stroke took my father out and ovarian cancer took my mother. Longevity does not run in my family.

I hope this helps you...please fix your marriage before you move onto this decision...good luck to you.