I'm new to this but I see I'm not alone. I've been with my husband for 8 1/2 years and married for 5 1/2. He is a terrific guy, very caring, calm, smart, sexy and very good with my son, his stepson however, we've been having some problems with him not being in the mood for sex. At first things were great but over the last year and a half he never initiates sex and when I do, he usuallly doesn't finish and it ends up being a crying party because I blame myself. He has diabetes and takes medication and always blames his illness for the reason he doesn't want to have sex. I've talked, cried and gotten mad and explained to him how awful this makes me feel and then I blame myself, thinking I'm ugly, not attractive, fat and that he's not in love with me anymore. He says he will get help but never does. I've tried to force it and that only makes the situation worse because he can't perform under pressure, which I understand but I just don't know what to do. I feel like he's holding something back with me in the bedroom. I am wild and like to try different things and he does not. I'm not sure what really turns him on after all this time and I've asked time after time for him to open up but he won't. He acts like he's embarressed. At the beginning of the marriage, I caught him on a dating site which he swore was to look and masturbate (but I'm not that naive). He could get free porn for that! I also found a chat room called "Married but still looking" which he denies ever being on. This was 7 1/2 years ago and to this day I've never found evidence that he has ever been on those sights again (but I'm sure he hides it better now if he is) after I questioned him and almost divorced him. We are always together when we're not at work and he works road construction so he is surrounded by guys, so I'm just not sure what the problem is. I know he's not gay for those thinking that too. I honestly think, he loves me but he isn't in love with me. This is killing me becasue I don't want a divorce, I just want to find out what's wrong. I'm a sexual person and sex is important to me, not everything, but this just isn't working for me anymore.