Wow, that is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I know that pain all too well.
Jan. 3rd, 2012: EX wanted me to tell them. So, as I was packing a bag to leave...upon the news of my EX's decision to end our marriage I decided to sleep elsewhere.... she had the kids come in, 15(girl) & 11(boy) yrs old.
Our kids are fantastic, you know that your kids are good when parents of their friends make comments about how polite they are, helpful, kind to their families when they are on playdates or such.
These two innocent children, the result of a love now lost, looking at me with fear and pain in their eyes. Tears. I hate tears, I hate it when people cry, it breaks my heart to see others in sorrow. Now it was my kids. Devastating.
So, with my silver tongue I used elequant phrases and told them of our love for them and how things would be just fine. Everytime I glanced over at my EX she just had this blank expression on her face.
I kept thinking, how can she do this to them? To me?
But I guess in hindsight, this was for the better, to hear it from me. Maybe my EX was too over-whelmed now after having just shattered a 23 year relationship....
My kids are so resilient. So calm and trusting of our intentions for them. They are doing so very well in all of this, in fact, they adapted so quickly and are seemingly unnaffected by the marital breakdown. Counsellors confirmed that they are adapting and have no further need for help.
My EX and I never fought in front of the kids, there was no bitterness or hatred. In fact on Jan. 2nd, 2012...I was loving and caring towards my EX, hugging her and kissing her and telling her of my love for her. The kids always saw this.
I wouldn't wish the Day of Explanation to the Kids on anyone who is a parent. It isn't something you can ever prepare for.
But in the end, the kids will be alright. They are resilient. My love of my two children is far greater than that I ever felt for my EX, and they are the only thing left now of a love lost between the EX and I. As products of love, they will go on in their lives and I pray to God that they will never have to repeat my efforts of Jan. 3rd, 2012.