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Discussion Starter #1
I am still trying to wrap my mind around sexless marriages. I get it, but at the same time I don't.

So if you are in a sexless marriage (or the sex is infrequent) what is your wife like? Does she dress sexy? Take care of herself (hair, skin, body etc)? What is her personality like (is she fun, silly, social etc)? Was she ever sexual? Is sex just never discussed between the two of you?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Late 20's

Married 4 years
 

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The reason why sexless marriages exist is this:

If your girlfriend stops having sex with you, you dump her and lose only her.

If your wife stops having sex with you, you divorce her and lose her, your kids, your house, (probably) your car, your life savings and a good fraction of your income for the rest of your life (alimony).

It's interesting how rarely you see a guy post here that about his girlfriend not having sex with him. Married women can get away with this because of divorce/family laws.
 

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The reason why sexless marriages exist is this:

If your girlfriend stops having sex with you, you dump her and lose only her.

If your wife stops having sex with you, you divorce her and lose her, your kids, your house, (probably) your car, your life savings and a good fraction of your income for the rest of your life (alimony).

It's interesting how rarely you see a guy post here that about his girlfriend not having sex with him. Married women can get away with this because of divorce/family laws.
...and we wonder why so many guys don't want to commit to marriage anymore???
 

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I feel bad for older guys who get taken to the cleaners in divorces.

I don't feel bad for younger guys who've seen what has happened to their fathers, uncles and brothers and are still stupid enough to load the revolver half full and pull the trigger.
 
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I'm not very experienced in this subject but I believe having a divorce here on this side of the ocean is a lot less man-hostile than in the USA. Ofcourse that has it's downsides but at least it decreases the negative aspects you've just mentioned.
 

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Wow. So much negativity.

And as far as soulmates go, there are many out there for ya. Not just one.

I think many people DO NOT talk about sex and sexual "what ifs" enough BEFORE marriage.

We talked the hell out of it before saying "I do." Sure, we have some moments in time where we're out of sync, but for the most part, we respect each others' sexual desires.
 

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Also, I don't think that the reason married women stop having sex after the first baby is born is hormones or the stress of a new baby.

The baby is what triggers the really Draconian family laws. Knowing that you'll become a two weekend a month dad is enough for many men to endure a personal hell for the rest of their lives in order to be in their children's lives.
 

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Wow. So much negativity.

And as far as soulmates go, there are many out there for ya. Not just one.

I think many people DO NOT talk about sex and sexual "what ifs" enough BEFORE marriage.

We talked the hell out of it before saying "I do." Sure, we have some moments in time where we're out of sync, but for the most part, we respect each others' sexual desires.
That's really easy to say when the laws are protecting you.
 
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I've just checked the governmental stance on the issue here and there's no bias towards man or woman when it comes to children. These things have to be mutually decided per individual case.

I'm so happy I don't live in the USA - no offense.
 

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Protecting me? from what?

I'm HD so, I like to get busy with my man.

If we were to divorce, I'd go back to being how i was before for 7 years. Raising children (I had one at the time) on my salary. I can support myself and my kids if I had to. As with my ex, I wouldn't ask for anything from my husband that didn't concern the child we have. I don't get child support from my ex because the less ties I have with him the better. When we broke up, I took nothing but my kid and my stuff.

I guess I'm not the norm, but don't assume I have this "calm and collected" manner because I have faith the laws protect me. :lol: Nah.
 

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Protecting me? from what?

I'm HD so, I like to get busy with my man.

If we were to divorce, I'd go back to being how i was before for 7 years. Raising children (I had one at the time) on my salary. I can support myself and my kids if I had to. As with my ex, I wouldn't ask for anything from my husband that didn't concern the child we have. I don't get child support from my ex because the less ties I have with him the better. When we broke up, I took nothing but my kid and my stuff.

I guess I'm not the norm, but don't assume I have this "calm and collected" manner because I have faith the laws protect me. :lol: Nah.
I've read your posts. You're an amazing woman. :)

But please understand, you're an incredibly rare exception.
 
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