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I married the love of my life right out of college great marriage for the first 7-9 years then the sex started to taper off....yada yada yada....dozens of stories just like mine.

The advise given here is to get divorced or at least serve papers and be legally separated.

Well we all have reasons to stay in a sexless marriage.
The children is one reason.
We like our life style
Some couples cannot afford to live separate
Some like myself do not want to reward poor behavior.

Imagine being in a loving relationship lots of sex, we have no children together. I don’t particularly like her family and rarely see them. I do not have much family as i was an only child

The company I work for prefers their executives to be married for image sake.

My personal point of view is this; I have a great marriage, a beautiful wife who is well educated, she holds two masters
and speaks several languages. We rarely argue and never fight. My lawyer tells me despite all her credentials
She has never held a paying job so she will most likely get 1/2 of my stuff.

How is that fair? So I travel a lot and have 2 lovers one here in the States the other one a different continent.

What could go wrong



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So I travel a lot and have 2 lovers one here in the States the other one a different continent.

What could go wrong



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What could go wrong?

How about a disease, for starters?

We can talk about the morality of it, etc., but what about a good-old-fashioned STD? Like herpes or HPV?
 

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In your first post one month and one day ago you state that you and your wife both said that you each wanted to have sex with each other more.

In some of your other posts you state that you aren't cheating.

Could you please clarify and provide more background and detail.
 

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My lawyer tells me despite all her credentials
She has never held a paying job so she will most likely get 1/2 of my stuff.

What could go wrong
If she finds out about your 2 other lovers, and decides to divorce you, she will most likely get MORE than 1/2.
 

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You started off a previous thread, provided a tiny bit of information and then dropped off when questions were asked prior to giving advice. As EleGirl pointed out in your last thread that passion in a marriage can be rebuilt. She asked some very relevant questions and you disappeared (almost as if you didn't want to explore that route).

Now you're back asking if its OK to cheat !?!?!?

Your story so far: you married Susan the love of your life. Sex dwindled off ? Over what period ? Was there real passion to start with ?
Any way... you both came back together and decided you did want sex with each other. And then you implied that you were not attracted to her anymore and were guessing that maybe she was not attracted to you too. Definitely worth exploring before doing anything foolish.

This was all in your first thread.

Now you want to know if it is OK to cheat? And the justification you give is to do with preserving your wealth!?!?! Well, even without the information that was sought, IT IS NEVER OK TO CHEAT! Very simple and clear hopefully. If you do, it makes you a [email protected] and I am sure you do not want to be that.

How about starting with answering some of EleGirl's questions from your first post.
 

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You started off a previous thread, provided a tiny bit of information and then dropped off when questions were asked prior to giving advice. As EleGirl pointed out in your last thread that passion in a marriage can be rebuilt. She asked some very relevant questions and you disappeared (almost as if you didn't want to explore that route).

Now you're back asking if its OK to cheat !?!?!?

Your story so far: you married Susan the love of your life. Sex dwindled off ? Over what period ? Was there real passion to start with ?
Any way... you both came back together and decided you did want sex with each other. And then you implied that you were not attracted to her anymore and were guessing that maybe she was not attracted to you too. Definitely worth exploring before doing anything foolish.

This was all in your first thread.

Now you want to know if it is OK to cheat? And the justification you give is to do with preserving your wealth!?!?! Well, even without the information that was sought, IT IS NEVER OK TO CHEAT! Very simple and clear hopefully. If you do, it makes you a [email protected] and I am sure you do not want to be that.

How about starting with answering some of EleGirl's questions from your first post.
This reminds me of when people call Dr. Laura and they don't like the answer to the first question they had and so they kind of just ignore it and keep asking questions hopefully they will get a validating answer for .....
 

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You asked the wrong question....

It is not what could go wrong, what is wrong?
It is what could go right, what is right?

You know neither.
Right from wrong.

You do know money.
That you value.

Value more than right.
 

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I'm in a not very dissimilar situation. I won't fault you for cheating if you are stuck in a near sexless marriage. I understand the feeling that an important part of your life has been stolen from you.

That said, I don't recommend it. Just divorce instead. If you start a relationship with a woman where the sex is good, I think you will find it so much better than your current life that you will end up divorcing anyway. Might as well do it the clean way.

Still, as I said, I'm not faulting you.
 

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Maybe your wife is smarter than what you think.
Maybe she all ready knows about your cheating.
Maybe she does not want to have sex with you
because of fear of STDs.
Maybe she is just waiting until she has enough
evidence to take over half your income.
Maybe she knows since you stated she is
beautiful, loving, highly educated (two master degree)
that after she divorces you for cheating she will
have no problem finding someone else. AND BETTER!!
You should seriously take a look at what you are
going to lose and try and fix it first. If it cannot
be fixed, divorce first then find someone else.
Since your job prefers you to be married,
do not treat your wife as arm candy or window
dressing.
 

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personally, in that situation, i would take on a mistress. that mistress in my case is my right hand.

btw, i was once in a sexless marriage like you, so i took on that mistress. that's the right way, either that or leave IMHO.

life is never fair, and we just have to keep on, without cheating on ourselves, or others.
 

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I married the love of my life right out of college great marriage for the first 7-9 years then the sex started to taper off....yada yada yada....dozens of stories just like mine.

The advise given here is to get divorced or at least serve papers and be legally separated.

Well we all have reasons to stay in a sexless marriage.
The children is one reason.
We like our life style
Some couples cannot afford to live separate
Some like myself do not want to reward poor behavior.

Imagine being in a loving relationship lots of sex, we have no children together. I don’t particularly like her family and rarely see them. I do not have much family as i was an only child

The company I work for prefers their executives to be married for image sake.

My personal point of view is this; I have a great marriage, a beautiful wife who is well educated, she holds two masters
and speaks several languages. We rarely argue and never fight. My lawyer tells me despite all her credentials
She has never held a paying job so she will most likely get 1/2 of my stuff.

How is that fair? So I travel a lot and have 2 lovers one here in the States the other one a different continent.

What could go wrong
So basically what your post tells me is that you don't actually care about your wife's feelings as a human being, and you aren't willing to put any effort into fixing the intimate part of your relationship. You got her in the first place because she was useful for your image and for sex. Now that the sex is dwindling, you want to replace her except that you aren't willing to accept the financial consequences, so you are outsourcing just the sex part?

Women are people too, not just a resource to toss away when it starts to age and operate less smoothly.
 

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why is a woman with two masters degrees not working? If you were to D, you would really want her to have a job nominally equivalent to yours to avoid alimony. Also, alimony is less the shorter the marriage, so D now to save $.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
What could go wrong?



How about a disease, for starters?



We can talk about the morality of it, etc., but what about a good-old-fashioned STD? Like herpes or HPV?


That is of concern but everything in life (at least fun stuff) comes with some risk.




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Discussion Starter #20
In your first post one month and one day ago you state that you and your wife both said that you each wanted to have sex with each other more.



In some of your other posts you state that you aren't cheating.



Could you please clarify and provide more background and detail.


When I first found this site and decided to wade in was because of another man ....his Handle is lonelygent (something like that) and his story was very similar to how my wife had been treating me up until approximately 1 yr ago. I think her attitude towards me has changed because I no longer pester her for sex and I had also fundamentally changed as man. I not a better man, but I am a very happy man




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