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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First post...

Here it goes,

I just seem to be lost. I have never been so vulnerable in my life. I feel I have lost control of everything.

I once was a successful management person making great money from a large package company when I decided to marry. A couple of years later I decided with my wife’s help that I would quit the long hours and no family life to get more involved. It's been two years and my life is miserable. It seems my marriage is worse, and there is nothing I can do about it. She's mean all the time, it’s like she knows I can't go anywhere and doesn't need to be nice. I used to be in control of my life and put up with no crap from anyone and now I take it all. I have no college education and worked my way up through my company. I want to get a job and she fights me on it.

She used to be sweet and showed she cared about me and wanted sex all the time, now nothing. I used to be the mean and stressed out one and it seems we have changed roles, I don't know, maybe I deserve it. I know I'm extremely lucky to have a wife who makes good money and allows me to stay home with my two young kids, but all I can think of is getting a job, leaving her, and being happy. I fear leaving and not being able to get a job and living poor, I know that’s horrible, but it’s what I fear.

I think now, that she has planned this, to get control. It's where I think she happiest. She once told me she planned our first child, because at the time she feared I was going to leave her, which at the time I was going to. I made a commitment I would try everything to make this marriage work, and I fear I can't do it anymore, and that scares me.

What happened to that person that was so strong, so independent?
 

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Well, it's hard when you are used to being in control of your finances, and all of a sudden have to depend on someone else (even your better half). Also, with the person that is "bringing home the bacon", stress may be a factor. Before we get into giving advice, let me ask you: Have you told your wife how you feel? Have you explained it the way you did here in this posting?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I've talked and talked, she's not much of a talker when it comes to problems. She avoids any talking about problems. It drives me crazy because I'm a talker. I think most things can be talked through, she just shuts down. We have never had a heated discussion. It would never get that far.

I was offered a job a pretty decent job today, she is not crazy about it. I feel she wants me home where she feels safe.
 
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