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I have been married to this man for almost 4 years and I am going to divorce him because of his temper, his inability to communicate, his constant blaming and his verbal abuses and physical abuses. That were once just coming from him, but now I fight back and it's turning very ugly in front of our 2 small children.

I am of Asian descent and he is from Anglo descent and for no other reason that to get me angry and his inability to speak to me and deal with me as a mature man would treat his wife, he will call me a **** and a ***** instead.

If I have a complaint or raise my voice because I am tired of him taking me for granted or for shoving me when I was pregnant with both of our kids, for the many small physical abuses which have now become a two way street. We insult each other every time we fight. We break each others things. Precious things like, paintings, easels, photographs, pottery, mugs, car windshields...

I have left him twice with our children. He refuses to divorce me. Luckily he leaves for Afghanistan for one year in a very short while we find out when he leaves for school and then abroad. I can't wait. I have gotten a job and now have to file for divorce. I am going to be a single mother anyway while he is gone, I might as well take that and run. He is the type that would make this very difficult for me.

I don't have a lot of my own money yet to leave, which is why I am still living at the house. I had left earlier to stay in a shelter, but he lost his orders due to losing his clearance and stayed for another 6 months. I filed a protective order with against him and dropped it.

Living here with him has been the hardest thing ever.

A year into marriage this man called me a **** and then days later blew into a rage because he was stressed out over his brother who was in town visiting our newborn, threw socks and underwear at us while I was nursing our 3 month old daughter. He supposeldy has ADHD but won't get medication for fear of losing his orders. So you can imaging the added stress and blow up I have to endure as a result of that.

I have changed into a unhappier but wiser person for marrying this troubled man. He is self centered, immature for 33. And tries to meet the mark but falls short a lot. He is mean, and a bully. I was way too naive to marry him after a year. Shame on me for having 2 children with him. Now the real hard work begins.

After all this, the part I feel most stupid for is how could I have married a man who would call me a **** over and over and over again?

~Soon to be divorced
 

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Don't worry about what you did do, worry about what you need to do. GET OUT. Even if not for you then for your kids. It only takes an anger like that once to hurt a child. The mental damage he can do to them is also paramount. GO THRU with the DIVORCE.

draconis
 

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I don't think marrying him was stupid on your part at all. We all marry hoping that we will be together forever. It sounds like you are a strong women and already know that the best thing you can do for you and the children is to leave. Good luck to you hope it all works out for you in the end.
 
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