Time to light up dear abby's inbox

I sent this this morning:

Dear Abby

Re your advise to "Spreading" regarding continued electronic contact with a male unknown to the husband was troubling.

While THIS particular poster may indeed have a strictly platonic relationship with a male she made vows to another. One of the vows was to forsake all others. Your response to this poster may well have been an example of uncommonly common sense. But remember that you have thousands of readers. You have encouraged both men and women that are conducting emotional affairs that originated with the sudden reappearance of a long-ago boy/girl friend through facebook.

Are you aware of the impact of these fishing expeditions? Too often the unaware spouse notices a sudden flurry of activity on the chat option of fb and on investigation discovers that their spouse is effectively being courted under the guise of 'reconnecting'. The spouse attempts to argue against continued contact only to be rebuffed and chided with the explanation that the conversations are harmless.

You have effectively disarmed spouses attempting to save their marriages and given comfort and tacit approval for those that are traveling a dangerous path. Please consider a retraction or at the very least a warning.

Thanks
concerned in Texas

I have said I love you to male and female friends alike. The example given above doesn't sound too appropriate, and I know I wouldn't be happy if my man was saying that to a woman friend...but then he is a cheater. The male (X2) I say it to I see and text very rarely but it is said to me and I say it back. I say it totally platonically and they know it. And yes, I do love them. With no depth other than good friends. The woman I say it to is one of my best friends and she says it to me, and I say it back. And yes, I do love her. Because she is great and has been a good friend.

EA/PA ever likely? No.

If my man wanted me to not say it? I don't know, I would feel rude not returning the love. I would feel uncomfortable him knowing I say it, because of how he could perceive it. But the relationships are like that. We all went through experiences together, long time friends. College, university, one of them was my drinking buddy for about 3 years.

If he said it to a woman friend? I would take great issue with it. But then he is a cheater. If he didn't stop? I would ditch him. I have been through enough with him. Because he is a cheater. And anyway, women friends for him are off limits now.

Just my perspective on this.

But I believe Abby's reply on this is totally misplaced and missing some serious pointers. I read that and think there is no thought for the husband and no warnings of the possible intentions of Doug and the possible consequences of the slippery slope. Though maybe that is too much like reality, too serious and too long winded for this kind of advice service. I haven't read it but it sounds like a shallow advice page with no depth. Only there for the stupid?