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Such a reductive and ridiculous reply to that question...it's like giving permission for an affair.
 

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Scroll to the last one of this day:

Dear Abby on uExpress

That one about made me puke.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years I have become friends with a client of mine, "Doug." I live in Wisconsin; he lives in Florida. We are both happily married and share about family and work. We use instant messaging for work-related issues and to chitchat. We have typed "I love you" to each other at times -- but only if we're being sarcastic, joking around or saying thanks for some help.
My husband doesn't think you can say "I love you" to a friend without having feelings or wanting more. I have never regarded Doug as anything but a friend, and he feels the same. Can I say "I love you" to a friend without it meaning something more? -- SPREADING THE LOVE

DEAR SPREADING: In my opinion you can, and many people do. There is a difference between saying "I love you" and "I am IN love with you," and I'm surprised that your husband doesn't realize it. Could he be feeling insecure?
I added it for those that cannot scroll lol


My two cents....... if you do not feel it, do not say it.
 

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Who is this "Dear Abby"? Sound's like someone i would not allow in my house!

Oh it says right there:


Dear Abby
is written by
Abigail Van Buren,
also known as
Jeanne Phillips,
and was founded
by her mother,
Pauline Phillips.
It is the most
popular and widely
syndicated column
in the world --
known for its
uncommon
common sense

and youthful
perspective.


Excuse me while i laugh at the bold part.
 

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It's just a sign of the times.

Everyone looking for a rationale to cheat.
 
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I sent this this morning:

Dear Abby

Re your advise to "Spreading" regarding continued electronic contact with a male unknown to the husband was troubling.

While THIS particular poster may indeed have a strictly platonic relationship with a male she made vows to another. One of the vows was to forsake all others. Your response to this poster may well have been an example of uncommonly common sense. But remember that you have thousands of readers. You have encouraged both men and women that are conducting emotional affairs that originated with the sudden reappearance of a long-ago boy/girl friend through facebook.

Are you aware of the impact of these fishing expeditions? Too often the unaware spouse notices a sudden flurry of activity on the chat option of fb and on investigation discovers that their spouse is effectively being courted under the guise of 'reconnecting'. The spouse attempts to argue against continued contact only to be rebuffed and chided with the explanation that the conversations are harmless.

You have effectively disarmed spouses attempting to save their marriages and given comfort and tacit approval for those that are traveling a dangerous path. Please consider a retraction or at the very least a warning.

Thanks
concerned in Texas
 

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I've heard cheating is a slippery slope.

So looks like Dear Abby just metaphorically gave that wife the OK to walk out on that slope and see how far she slides.

I wonder if in a few months, we'll have a new poster on here saying "Wife fell for married client in another state! What do I do?"
 

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I have said I love you to male and female friends alike. The example given above doesn't sound too appropriate, and I know I wouldn't be happy if my man was saying that to a woman friend...but then he is a cheater. The male (X2) I say it to I see and text very rarely but it is said to me and I say it back. I say it totally platonically and they know it. And yes, I do love them. With no depth other than good friends. The woman I say it to is one of my best friends and she says it to me, and I say it back. And yes, I do love her. Because she is great and has been a good friend.

EA/PA ever likely? No.

If my man wanted me to not say it? I don't know, I would feel rude not returning the love. I would feel uncomfortable him knowing I say it, because of how he could perceive it. But the relationships are like that. We all went through experiences together, long time friends. College, university, one of them was my drinking buddy for about 3 years.

If he said it to a woman friend? I would take great issue with it. But then he is a cheater. If he didn't stop? I would ditch him. I have been through enough with him. Because he is a cheater. And anyway, women friends for him are off limits now.

Just my perspective on this.

But I believe Abby's reply on this is totally misplaced and missing some serious pointers. I read that and think there is no thought for the husband and no warnings of the possible intentions of Doug and the possible consequences of the slippery slope. Though maybe that is too much like reality, too serious and too long winded for this kind of advice service. I haven't read it but it sounds like a shallow advice page with no depth. Only there for the stupid?
 
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Dear Spreading
I can't be arsed so yeah, just carry on.
 
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Call me crazy, but if I heard or read my wife saying "I love you" to a male "client" who's become a friend after she was my wife, I'd take SERIOUS issues with it. But both she and I put a bigger premium on those 3 little words. I think a big part to this is the individual's attitude toward them saying the word "love" and what it means to them.
 

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LOVE is a word that should not be bandied about.
I haven't said "I love you" in over two years and don't intend to start unless the unlikelihood occurs that I can mean it.
Abbe seldom offers the same advice to men that she gives to women.
 

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I'm amazed that people still read 'Dear Abby' and Ann Landers. Those two sisters have been dead for years (their daughters now write the columns) and their advice harkens back to the good old days of Ozze and Harriet and Ward and June Cleaver. You know, when a woman's place was in the home.

I much prefer the advice given by 'Dear Gabby', which was a hilarious spoof of the Dear Abby columns. But seriously, if I wanted relationship advice from a newspaper I would read Carolyn Hax or Dan Savage.
 

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I'm amazed that people still read 'Dear Abby' and Ann Landers. Those two sisters have been dead for years (their daughters now write the columns) and their advice harkens back to the good old days of Ozze and Harriet and Ward and June Cleaver. You know, when a woman's place was in the home.
So true!
Your observation was so obvious I didn't even think about it since no one I know has read Dear Abby (we didn't have Ann Landers in our hometown papers - remember them? ... papers I mean)

Soooo maybe it's the 'fb' 'texting' etc illiterati that still keep up with these two 'sisters'

Oh, and they haven't responded to my email. Since they asked for my home address I guess I should be expecting snail mail.
Written on onionskin paper. With a fountain pen.
 

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Even Dear Abby needs a copy of Not Just Friends! Laypeople of the world, ignorant of emotional affairs, unite. :rolleyes:

My take was that the person writing in to Dear Abby just wanted a fig leaf to cover herself...and she got it. She almost surely spends waaaaay too much time dreaming up some cute little response to "Doug's" latest missive. I bet her husband would be thrilled to have just a quarter of that attention directed his way.

I'm trying to figure out how you show "you're kidding" in texts and emails. Frankly, it's not always easy to discern someone's intent even in important, serious email communications.

Maybe what WSs ought to do from now on...type out whatever you like, then end every text, email, and fb message with "JK." A quick and easy disclaimer that will hold up just fine in the court of public opinion and cause your loyal spouse to get an ulcer over the doubt. :rolleyes:

It might even keep one from getting banned on Internet forums. (JK!)
 
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