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I am 42, married for 15 years with two kids ages 12 and 10. My H and I have a contentious relationship. We seem to argue over the most petty things. It definitely seems that we’ve grown apart rather than closer over the years. He has a quick temper and often “goes off” if he doesn’t get his way. I am stubborn and will call BS when I see it. Additionally, intimacy has been a chore for me for most of our marriage. I find my H attractive but in no way want to have sex with him. However, I find myself thinking about sex with others. I have become disengaged from our relationship over the past year or so. We’ve talked about divorce and he has commented several times that “this isn’t going to work”. I’ve come to realize that when he says these things it’s just to get a reaction from me. He will then say that he loves me and the kids and wants us to have a good marriage. Sadly, I don’t share that desire anymore. Sometimes I wonder if the spark was ever really there. We shared some of the same goals and we have a comfortable lifestyle. Honestly, that’s what keeps me from leaving. My H and I both have good jobs though I am the breadwinner by a bit. I don’t want to hurt my H, and I worry about how the kids will handle divorce. I also don’t like the idea of starting over when things are so comfortable now. But I don’t feel that I can stay in this marriage and truly be happy. I feel like I’m not able to be my genuine self. Is this a MLC or do I owe it to myself and my H to leave?
 
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