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The issue here isn’t really whether to have a threesome or not.

The issue is her husband isn’t even heterosexual and what course of action they need to take to deal with his ****/bisexuality.

This will probably require professional assessment and guidance to navigate.
i would think it is pretty important to determine if he is gay, or bisexual. big difference on if the marriage can continue on.

does he get aroused by seeing you naked? Can he remain erect while having sex without taking pills, etc?

If he is bisexual, then some threesomes may be an answer, especially if the other guy is bisexual too so you can join in on all the sex.

It seems like the marriage has hit a hard decision point anyway...and the OP needs to figure out how to proceed. i would say try the threesome, and see if it turns you on. if not....then say "i tried it, and it sucks", and never do it again, and let the marriage either continue on or fail as a monogamous one.

It seems like if you just say "no!", he will go hook up with other guys anyway, and you have not preserved the marriage at all.
 

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i would think it is pretty important to determine if he is gay, or bisexual. big difference on if the marriage can continue on.

does he get aroused by seeing you naked? Can he remain erect while having sex without taking pills, etc?

If he is bisexual, then some threesomes may be an answer, especially if the other guy is bisexual too so you can join in on all the sex.

It seems like the marriage has hit a hard decision point anyway...and the OP needs to figure out how to proceed. i would say try the threesome, and see if it turns you on. if not....then say "i tried it, and it sucks", and never do it again, and let the marriage either continue on or fail as a monogamous one.

It seems like if you just say "no!", he will go hook up with other guys anyway, and you have not preserved the marriage at all.
By that logic, everyone should have whatever kind of 3some their partner wants to do.

If your wife wanted to do a 3some with another straight man would you do it because otherwise she’ll just screw other men anyway??

If you brought up having a 3some with another woman, would you tell your wife that you will just screw other women anyway so she would need to do it to preserve the marriage?

I’m all for 3somes if all parties are enthusiastically down for it.

But every spouse has the right to want to maintain sexual exclusivity regardless of sexual orientation.

Just because someone, male or female, is bisexual does not mean that their spouse has to participate in 3somes or that they have to accept a nonmonogamous marriage if they don’t want that.
 

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My husband of over 5 years wants to have a threesome. I went on a hookup app with him to explore what was out there, and he found someone to have a 3 some with. I became uncomfortable and backed out and now he is angry with me. I don't know what to do. I feel depressed and hurt.

Should I just let him have sex with someone else and hope it doesn't change things? Should I try a threesome with him? I love him and don't want to lose him. I'm not sure if it's worth eating my feelings. I don't know what to do.

Does anyone else have experience with threesomes? If so, how did it affect your relationship?
Your husband should never berate you for this. Only abusers or immature fools do so. For a threesome to work, all parties have to be comfortable with each other. As @oldshirt said, enthusiastic consent or no go for everyone.

Now as to whether or not you should let him go out or do one with him, that depends on how you feel. The first thing to determine is did you feel uncomfortable with the general idea, where any third party, male or female, would make you uncomfortable, or did that third party specifically make you uncomfortable? Would you be as uncomfortable if the third was a woman (for the sake of the question for now, assume no sex between you and her)? Did your husband want to have sex with another guy (regardless of whether you are there are not), or with you alongside another guy (the other guy also having sex with only you)? Or is it the third option that your husband wanted a third who would have sex with both of you? The difference between the three can be important. If he is just wanting sex with other men, and only offered the threesome to try to not exclude you, are you willing to let him without you?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: ENM can never fix a marriage. A bad sex life, maybe, but a marriage, never. SO if you do not feel that your marriage is on solid ground, then don't even entertain the idea until it is. And it is not worth compromising your feelings. It's one thing to feel unsure, try it and then decide it's not right for you. But if it feels wrong, then it is not for you.
 

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By that logic, everyone should have whatever kind of 3some their partner wants to do.

If your wife wanted to do a 3some with another straight man would you do it because otherwise she’ll just screw other men anyway??

If you brought up having a 3some with another woman, would you tell your wife that you will just screw other women anyway so she would need to do it to preserve the marriage?

I’m all for 3somes if all parties are enthusiastically down for it.

But every spouse has the right to want to maintain sexual exclusivity regardless of sexual orientation.

Just because someone, male or female, is bisexual does not mean that their spouse has to participate in 3somes or that they have to accept a nonmonogamous marriage if they don’t want that.
if the marriage is for sure over....might as well try it. otherwise it is a guaranteed divorce, and she might find she can live with it as it is.
 

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I always thought it would be exciting to watch the wife with another woman even if I wasn't involved. Pervered old man? Sure why not but it sure would be more exciting than what we do now! I am watching PBS and the wife is watching conspriacy theory videos on her laptop.
 

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I always thought it would be exciting to watch the wife with another woman even if I wasn't involved. Pervered old man? Sure why not but it sure would be more exciting than what we do now! I am watching PBS and the wife is watching conspriacy theory videos on her laptop.
So turn off the tv and go **** her right now.
 

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I wish it worked like that but not in our house. We've already had our sex for this week.
Man, really?

Years ago I expressly and firmly told wife there is no tv watching that I or we'll ever say to the other wait, I'm watching this or no, I'm watching tv.

There is no tv watching as a hold up when either of us want to have sex. Ever. F'n ever.

We have sex minimum 4 times a week. And after we had the tv conversation 20 yrs ago she appreciates the clear understanding.
 
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