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My husband of over 5 years wants to have a threesome. I went on a hookup app with him to explore what was out there, and he found someone to have a 3 some with. I became uncomfortable and backed out and now he is angry with me. I don't know what to do. I feel depressed and hurt.

Should I just let him have sex with someone else and hope it doesn't change things? Should I try a threesome with him? I love him and don't want to lose him. I'm not sure if it's worth eating my feelings. I don't know what to do.

Does anyone else have experience with threesomes? If so, how did it affect your relationship?
 

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My husband of over 5 years wants to have either a threesome or sex with another man. I went on a hookup app with him to explore what was out there, and he found someone to have a 3 some with. I became uncomfortable and backed out and now he is angry with me. I don't know what to do. I feel depressed and hurt.

Should I just let him have sex with someone else and hope it doesn't change things? Should I try a threesome with him? I love him and don't want to lose him. I'm not sure if it's worth eating my feelings. I don't know what to do.

Does anyone else have experience with threesomes? If so, how did it affect your relationship?
Your husband wants to have sex with another man?
 

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You're perfectly justified backing out if you're uncomfortable, or even to say you're not willing to try again. This isn't a decision to make lightly, and not every potential third is going to be acceptable to you both. He's angry because he's very disappointed that he didn't get to realize his fantasy. He will probably get over it. And it's very important that you discussed this as a couple, and he did not simply cheat on you, so that's a positive.

We've had plenty of threesomes (MFM, FMF) and have often played alone with others as well. Neither of us is bisexual, so that's not a dynamic I can speak to. For us, it's been fun and enhanced our relationship in a variety of ways, and it's also been positive for most of the people/couples we know who've done this. So we haven't had any negatives. Other people may have a negative experience, encounter jealousy, discord, regrets, recriminations, or even breakups. The negative are less likely if you thoroughly discuss all the issues and scenarios in advance - including backing out if it doesn't feel right.

Only you can decide how to proceed, if at all, and only you can evaluate the risks to your relationship either way.
 

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First, the only experience we have with threesomes is when my wife and I talk about it during foreplay, a turn-on spark if you will. Never did it for real. I'd think that you BOTH have to be onboard for this to happen. Definitely talk this out beforehand. And be sure you both have a code word that will end things immediately if either is not comfortable. Who would you choose? Close friend, stranger? Casual friend? This seems like it would be a lot of work. And that fact that your husband wants to have sex with a man in front of you? How do you feel about that? Talk talk talk and more talk is needed. Good luck.
 

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If a dude wants to bring another dude into a threesome there are only 2 possible reasons.

1) He is gay. End the marriage.
2) He has a ****/hotwife fantasy where he gets off on seeing other men have sex with you. That is asking a lot of you and you'd have to be super into it.
 

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OK - he is gay! Drop him like a hot potato! He is disrespectful and dragging you into something you do not want to do. Also you may just end up becoming his beard.
 

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1. You were wise to say no, on a number of levels. The fact that he’s angry shows that he has no respect for you, and that gay sex with another man is really important to him. Bad and bad.
2. You need to decide if you’re OK with a gay husband who ****s and gets ****ed by other men. If this is not your vision of marriage and life, you need to divorce him now. This will not get better and this issue isn’t going away.
 

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This is one of those fantasies that I think should be brought up premarriage or not at all. We pretty much commit to each other and to a monogamous relationship when we marry, at least in my view. I would be afraid of STDs and what it would do to the marriage emotionally and psychologically. I suspect if you were to follow through, it would be something he expected on a regular basis. Unless you want that lifestyle, don't do it
 

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Everyone seems to be
So his desire to have a threesome was not so much to share you with another man, but for you to share him with another man. Is that what was going on? It does make a difference. If he wants to share you with another guy that is a not too uncommon fantasy of straight men. If he wants to involve another man for his satisfaction then he is apparently bi-sexual or gay. Has he ever mentioned anything in the past about being attracted to men?

In the end he must honor your desires. If you both entered into marriage in agreement that it would be monogamous, then it must stay that way unless both spouses are fully on board with the non-monogamy. If he is really interested in him having sex with a man I feel the risk of losing him is much higher than if he was just wanting to fulfill a fantasy about sharing you.
 

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The issue here isn’t really whether to have a threesome or not.

The issue is her husband isn’t even heterosexual and what course of action they need to take to deal with his ****/bisexuality.

This will probably require professional assessment and guidance to navigate.
 
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