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It’s very possible and can be done HOWEVER I caution you. This type of arrangement needs to come with solid rules,boundary’s, and a lot of communication to avoid anyone getting hurt. If your relationship is shaky or you struggle with blunt honest conversation this will turn on you. This is a huge risk honestly
 

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From her previous post, SHE wants to do this -- she wants the thrill of other men, attention from others, etc..
Due to this, there are already serious issues in the marriage.

Sounds like she wants a free pass to go out and get her jollies -- this would certainly end in divorce.
Yep, I agree. This chick already has the perceived need, and the rationalization. All she needs to go over the edge is the right opportunity which is just a matter of time. Ain't going to be a lot her husband can do that will make up for the loss she sees. I'd suggest at this point to go ahead with the threeway, which will become a lifestyle. Ain't a lot to lose at this point. She is saying exactly where she's heading with, " I wanted a stranger to want to kiss me. I just wanted a one off, random hook up with an attractive man I'd just met who had a desire to want to kiss me back." Telling her how special her single partner relationship is like telling a starving person the bright side is they don't have weight problem.
 

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My ex wanted to wife swap and he set a couple situations up. I could not carry thru. For me, my partner was my husband and I needed no one else and I did not understand why he felt the need for someone other than myself. It hurt to think that he wanted to be with other women. He eventually started cheating behind my back and once I caught him I was done. Personally, I do not see anything advantageous to this type of behavior and if he insists I would question the marriage and his love for you.
 

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I can't understand the desire for this. I'll bet less than 5% of the personalities out there can handle this, and then they would have to be matched in a marriage. My guess is you both aren't 5 percent-ers.

So much can go wrong- probably even something as small as the other side looking like they are enjoying it too much while you are just lying there doing nothing. I'd stay away.

And being a guy- the last thing I'd want to do is be in bed with another guy.
 

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And being a guy- the last thing I'd want to do is be in bed with another guy.
Amen to that. The bottom line is our girl MummyofTwo is going through her humpteeth year of buyers remorse. My bet is she's eventually going to give it up to another guy and its katie bar the door after that as she makes up for lost time. Her old man's gonna have a tiger by the tail. Reminds me of a chick I had that on her first time out of barnyard bruised my pubic bone so bad I could hardly walk. The damn tip she gave me didn't make up for the damage.
 

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I can't understand the desire for this. I'll bet less than 5% of the personalities out there can handle this, and then they would have to be matched in a marriage. My guess is you both aren't 5 percent-ers.
Which is actually pretty consistent, if you think about it. When it comes to those statistically abnormal from the majority (LBG, left handed, trans, etc) the numbers tend to run in the 5 to 10 percent range.



And being a guy- the last thing I'd want to do is be in bed with another guy.
And that's you. But there are men out there who are comfortable with another man engaging with the same woman at the same time, those who might not be attracted to men but are also not repulsed by physical interaction, and bisexual men.

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Even though I’m new here and this is my first attempt at answering, it doesn’t mean I’m naive. I’m guessing but after reading the comments, it seems that your relationship situation isn’t taken into account. Talking from experience, why wouldn’t you be curious about what sex would be like with someone different?
I’m positive that, in reality, you know it’s probably not going to be that different. The fact still remains that you just don’t actually know!!

It’s so easy for people to make comment who have had more experience, although there are lots of valid points. IMHO would they not be curious to know if they were in your situation?

I’m not saying you should continue down this road, as there could be dire consequences!!
Be happy in the fact that your relationship is still solid, after all this time together, that the two of you are comfortable enough to even be discussing a topic like threesomes.

Fantasies are often better than reality so be confident that it’s something you both want to try and have agreed on boundaries.

A lot of very honest and wise points have been posted. Ultimately it’s a question only you can answer!!

Good luck
 

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I had a girlfriend back in the 1980s that I used to go to swinging parties with. We met lots of married couples who swore up and down to us that the activities made them happier couples. Well I did it with my girlfriend a few times and after a while I just lost my attraction to her. I eventually broke up with her a few months later because I literally lost all desire for her. But what was really bad is that one couple who we played with once, and had gotten to know pretty well, ended up going at each other in a hotel one night and the wife ended up stabbing the husband. It made the local news, and I seem to recall she ended up doing some serious jail time.

This swinging stuff just doesn't work. It's fun in the moment but it never ever bodes well for anyone involved in it. I say stay away.
 

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This swinging stuff just doesn't work. It's fun in the moment but it never ever bodes well for anyone involved in it. I say stay away.
Hang on a sec. You went to several swinging parties, fill with dozens, at least, of partners, and you're drawing your conclusion off of two incidents? I know couples (and bigger) who have been open/swinging/poly (just one or any combination thereof) ranging from 10 to over 50 years and are still together. My legal wife and I have been together for 20 years doing this, and our spouses have been with each other for 10 and we've been a quad for 5. Don't ever say never, it's rarely true.

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Hang on a sec. You went to several swinging parties, fill with dozens, at least, of partners, and you're drawing your conclusion off of two incidents? I know couples (and bigger) who have been open/swinging/poly (just one or any combination thereof) ranging from 10 to over 50 years and are still together. My legal wife and I have been together for 20 years doing this, and our spouses have been with each other for 10 and we've been a quad for 5. Don't ever say never, it's rarely true.

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for every post by a swinger on open marriages that said how great there
have been hundreds of posts where relationships and marriages where
ruined because of it.
 

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for every post by a swinger on open marriages that said how great there
have been hundreds of posts where relationships and marriages where
ruined because of it.
True. Just like on this site where you mostly hear about the problems and failures in marriage, and far less about the successes. You usually don't hear from the successful swingers - they're too busy enjoying themselves and don't have the kinds of issues that bring them to sites like this.
 

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for every post by a swinger on open marriages that said how great there

have been hundreds of posts where relationships and marriages where

ruined because of it.
First off you claim it never worked out, and you are providing yourself wrong by noting how there are those posting success stories.

Then there is the tendency of people to complain more than praise. Not to mention that since most people as a whole, look down on swinging, why would successful relationships/encounters put it out there unless.it was on a specific site geared towards such, such as FetLife or private Facebook group, on which, BTW, I see more success stories than failures.

And it needs to be noted to a lot of couples just dive into this without thinking, and don't learn or prepare for it. Both have to actually want to do it, and not just agree for the sake of what their partner wants. They need to be able to effectively communicate about their feelings and be willing to examine the source of them. Such unpreparedness can lead to a skewed data set.

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I guess it all depends on one's definition of success in marriage.

I have not seen a single successful open/swinging marriage yet but that is just based on my definition of success in marriage and also possibly, I haven't seen enough yet.
 

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Where is the OP? She seems to average one post per thread she starts.
 

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I had a girlfriend back in the 1980s that I used to go to swinging parties with. We met lots of married couples who swore up and down to us that the activities made them happier couples. Well I did it with my girlfriend a few times and after a while I just lost my attraction to her. I eventually broke up with her a few months later because I literally lost all desire for her. But what was really bad is that one couple who we played with once, and had gotten to know pretty well, ended up going at each other in a hotel one night and the wife ended up stabbing the husband. It made the local news, and I seem to recall she ended up doing some serious jail time.

This swinging stuff just doesn't work. It's fun in the moment but it never ever bodes well for anyone involved in it. I say stay away.
If I may ask, who brought up the idea of swinging in that relationship?
 

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I guess it all depends on one's definition of success in marriage.



I have not seen a single successful open/swinging marriage yet but that is just based on my definition of success in marriage and also possibly, I haven't seen enough yet.
Also if you don't hang out with those who do this lifestyle, you also won't get to see working examples.

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If I may ask, who brought up the idea of swinging in that relationship?
I did as a matter of fact. There were many years in my life when I lived wild and partied. Swinging was just one more unknown territory I had not explored. I wish now that I had passed on it. Seeing my girlfriend getting banged by other guys just didn't turn me on the way I thought it would. I liked the freedom of having her and then having sex with other women. But it all rang hollow after a time. Even though she said she had fun, I feel ashamed now for the way I treated her and used her.
 

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True. Just like on this site where you mostly hear about the problems and failures in marriage, and far less about the successes. You usually don't hear from the successful swingers - they're too busy enjoying themselves and don't have the kinds of issues that bring them to sites like this.
Yeah all 3 of them.
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Kidding, just kidding. :smthumbup:
 

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I did as a matter of fact. There were many years in my life when I lived wild and partied. Swinging was just one more unknown territory I had not explored. I wish now that I had passed on it. Seeing my girlfriend getting banged by other guys just didn't turn me on the way I thought it would. I liked the freedom of having her and then having sex with other women. But it all rang hollow after a time. Even though she said she had fun, I feel ashamed now for the way I treated her and used her.
Bingo, jackpot , here's the cupie doll.

Thanks Bashful, for your honesty and even though she wasn't you wife. It's just wrong to do and to add salt, she enjoyed it.
 
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