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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been thinking lately that romantic films especially older romantic comedies and Brit lit flicks have done a disservice to many people who are sexually immature. I don't say that as a dis. I am gently including myself. I was shocked and overwhelmed at the reality of sex when I started dating my now husband; the smells, the awkward positions, the need for communication, etc.. I now look at a romantic film that does not depict any sort of real sexual behavior and wonder as the couple kiss and embrace in the last shot of the film, "does she realize he may ask her to put her finger in his butt?"

Any thoughts on how romantic films have effected your or your partner's developing views on sex?
 

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I don't think they are any worse than, for instance, Sesame Street. I mean, did we really learn anything useful about same sex marriage from Bert and Ernie?

Holding films to task for not meeting a standard to which they were never subjected seems a little unnecessary.
 

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There's such a wide variety of what's called romance movies that what's romance is up to the individual. But none get into the sexual relations, really.

Well, now, Deadpool One is a romance I like.

But some of the pure corny ones, too.

Then, you have how women and relationships are portrayed in 50s and 60s that has the rat pack members in them.

Dames, and all that. Now, those are cool.

But the sex itself is left to the imagination.
 

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There was some great meme about this, but I can't for the life of me, find it. But I did find this one which has a similar message.

70993


But I think the major difference is that most guys know that they aren't going to find their favorite XXX star look-alike out there to date. I don't think most girls know that the perfect boyfriend and husband they have in their imagination doesn't exist.
 

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There was some great meme about this, but I can't for the life of me, find it. But I did find this one which has a similar message.

View attachment 70993

But I think the major difference is that most guys know that they aren't going to find their favorite XXX star look-alike out there to date. I don't think most girls know that the perfect boyfriend and husband they have in their imagination doesn't exist.
To be fair, they do exist - in about the same ratio as the XXX porn star look alike (and perform alike) girlfriend.
 
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There was some great meme about this, but I can't for the life of me, find it. But I did find this one which has a similar message.

View attachment 70993

But I think the major difference is that most guys know that they aren't going to find their favorite XXX star look-alike out there to date. I don't think most girls know that the perfect boyfriend and husband they have in their imagination doesn't exist.
I disagree. A girl growing up with fairy tales and romance movies will have expectation of how daring should be. A boy growing up with porn will also have a wrong expectation of sex and women’s bodies.

As we get older and experience real life we know that’s not true and there is no harm.

I think we don’t remember but young kids are very impressionable.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
There was some great meme about this, but I can't for the life of me, find it. But I did find this one which has a similar message.

View attachment 70993

But I think the major difference is that most guys know that they aren't going to find their favorite XXX star look-alike out there to date. I don't think most girls know that the perfect boyfriend and husband they have in their imagination doesn't exist.
Assuming that everyone knows perfection is not a thing in any aspect of life, then I would say that the men portrayed in romantic movies do exist to some extent. There are so many wonderful, chivalrous, funny, handsome men out there who want to love and respect their partner but they also want real sex not just an embrace, a passionate few minutes on top of her and some cuddling. That is the part that confounded me as a young person.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
There's such a wide variety of what's called romance movies that what's romance is up to the individual. But none get into the sexual relations, really.

Well, now, Deadpool One is a romance I like.

But some of the pure corny ones, too.

Then, you have how women and relationships are portrayed in 50s and 60s that has the rat pack members in them.

Dames, and all that. Now, those are cool.

But the sex itself is left to the imagination.
I never imagined 3/4 of the sex that I currently participate in with my husband. It has been a long journey of acceptance in my mind and my body. I only imagined kissing and then a silent, passionate "cuming together" with him on top. I am not saying that's a good thing only that was my reality as a younger person.
 

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I disagree. A girl growing up with fairy tales and romance movies will have expectation of how daring should be. A boy growing up with porn will also have a wrong expectation of sex and women’s bodies.

As we get older and experience real life we know that’s not true and there is no harm.

I think we don’t remember but young kids are very impressionable.
I won't argue that young kids are impressionable. But young kids SHOULD NOT be watching porn. Granted, once puberty starts, porn becomes a necessity for some. Despite the age requirement.

Assuming that everyone knows perfection is not a thing in any aspect of life, then I would say that the men portrayed in romantic movies do exist to some extent. There are so many wonderful, chivalrous, funny, handsome men out there who want to love and respect their partner but they also want real sex not just an embrace, a passionate few minutes on top of her and some cuddling. That is the part that confounded me as a young person.
I don't think there are as many as you want to believe there are, and you're kind of proving my initial point right here.

You brought up handsome men. Because looks are subjective, let's pick categories that can be measured and compare the US male population to it: height and weight. According to google, 47% of men are taller than 5'10" (a good height), and in the US, almost 50% of the US male population is overweight, with over 10% being obese. That means of the US population, less than half of the population is a height that I would guess most women would prefer (or taller), and of that population, we got about a 50% chance of them being overweight. That narrows the population down to 25%

If we just look at the romantic comedies, it's not any better. I googled top 10 romantic comedies, then wikipedia for the plot for the top 3 (because I was not doing this for 10). And the first 3 that came up, yeah the guy was in shape/tall etc., but also it was mentioned he was upper middle class, or better. So income.
Less than 10% of the US earn $100,000 or more.
Only 12.5% of the US earn more than 75,000.
 

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They may be looking at it, but they certainly don’t need it.

Pornography is not a necessity. 🙄
And I agree with that, for sure. It's too easy to find, and that's one of the barriers from pre-internet.

Hustler was available a hundred years ago in my youth, but if it wasn't the stack handed down from brothers or friends an effort had to be made.

Even then it was limited, and as the content wasn't wild with sex, just pics, (real paper!) the novelty passed.
 

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In my opinion most romantic movies completely gloss over the fact that for a woman getting married that she might as well be adopting an overgrown child that is completely incapable of cleaning up after himself and is looking for younger someone that can do everything for him that his mom did while growing up but without all the nagging to tuck in his shirt and wash his hands after petting the cat.
 

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In my opinion most romantic movies completely gloss over the fact that for a woman getting married that she might as well be adopting an overgrown child that is completely incapable of cleaning up after himself and is looking for younger someone that can do everything for him that his mom did while growing up but without all the nagging to tuck in his shirt and wash his hands after petting the cat.

Surely you jest.

That may be the case for some men and women entering Ms and maybe more so in todays society but not all, in broad summary.
 

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Most kids have smart phones and/or a computer/iPads. You better bet your butt they are looking up porn.
I would argue it's smarter to give the kids an i-phone to look at porn with than hope they don't do it on the family PC. My phone has never been home to more viruses than a Chinese wet market.

Secondly, parents can put restrictions on the phones, and routers or modems, etc, to restrict what the kids can watch. If they're too lazy or don't care to learn how, that's their choice. The tools are there.
They may be looking at it, but they certainly don’t need it.

Pornography is not a necessity. 🙄
I misspoke here. Porn is definitely not a necessity. Something I learned at that age when I went on a mission trip for 10 days with no internet. But it does enhance the experience.

Should've said masturbation instead.
 
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