[ShatteredKat]

Wife in past (decades) has often taken off somewhere saying: "I will be gone for a few hours." and shows up 8 hours later.
Often travelled for business and: "I call after work winds down." - and don't hear from her till next day - often late afternoon.

Today she meets a man - sort of a friend - widower of her best friend of 20 years - and meets him to take him to medical facility as he was getting drugged and needed a driver.

Well she left around 10 AM - Thursday. It is now 12:20 or so Friday and she has not called or texted what she is doing.

I am not Ok with this and life is going to get messy when/if she shows up home again.

Suggestions on how to interpret her behavior and what I should do appreciated. Don't spare the 2.x 4s.

- sigh

 

[Anastasia6]

Wife in past (decades) has often taken off somewhere saying: "I will be gone for a few hours." and shows up 8 hours later.
Often travelled for business and: "I call after work winds down." - and don't hear from her till next day - often late afternoon.

Today she meets a man - sort of a friend - widower of her best friend of 20 years - and meets him to take him to medical facility as he was getting drugged and needed a driver.

Well she left around 10 AM - Thursday. It is now 12:20 or so Friday and she has not called or texted what she is doing.

I am not Ok with this and life is going to get messy when/if she shows up home again.

Suggestions on how to interpret her behavior and what I should do appreciated. Don't spare the 2.x 4s.

- sigh

What she’s doing is not ok.

but have you tried reaching out to her?

 

[ShatteredKat]

"but have you tried reaching out to her?"

text only - not going to call on phone as I don't think where/what she is at/doing would lead to honest conversation

 

[Anastasia6]

"but have you tried reaching out to her?"

text only - not going to call on phone as I don't think where/what she is at/doing would lead to honest conversation

And has she replied? I assume not.

do you have location sharing on?

 

[ConanHub]

It's easy. Get everything in order and make sure she gets served while she is "serving" someone else.

 

[ShatteredKat]

Life 360 is working - and I have been giving really serious thought to moving to separate living arrangements.

 

[Anastasia6]

I’m confused you say today…. Thursday Friday

but today is Monday going on Tuesday.

She’s been gone 1 day or 4 days ?

 

[Anastasia6]

Life 360 is working - and I have been giving really serious thought to moving to separate living arrangements.

So you know where she is?

 

[ShatteredKat]

jeez - mind in turmoil and confused! DUH! days should be Monday into Tuesday - today - it's 12:55 AM Monday where I am.
Stress tends to mangle thinking

 

[ShatteredKat]

I know WHERE THE PHONE IS - her? Can't tell from a text reply other than assuming text was sent and had to be from "the phone" as it is tied to phone number. So - odds are she is at his house.

 

[Openminded]

It’s 12:58 am Tuesday EDT where I am — and perhaps where you are?

Can you go where she is?

 

[ShatteredKat]

My biggest issue is her showing almost total lack of respect for me and her selfishness. I have drilled on this in the past and, I guess, just doesn't ring a bell on her floor.

 

[Anastasia6]

jeez - mind in turmoil and confused! DUH! days should be Monday into Tuesday - today - it's 12:55 AM Monday where I am.
Stress tends to mangle thinking

I get that. Just trying to get a picture here.

I once ‘disappeared. On my husband and I’m glad his first concern was for my heath not thinking I was cheating.

You have more information than we have right now.

I assume at the least you are considering that she extremely inconsiderate or cheating or leaving.

 

[ShatteredKat]

Ya - EDT - North Carolina near the coast

 

[Anastasia6]

My biggest issue is her showing almost total lack of respect for me and her selfishness. I have drilled on this in the past and, I guess, just doesn't ring a bell on her floor.

Well it does seem to be her personality type. If you brought this up many times and she has continued then you have to decide what’s right for you.

I mean cheating has to also be a thought doesn’t it?

again I ask. She’s not responding to your texts?

 

[ShatteredKat]

"I assume at the least you are considering that she extremely inconsiderate or cheating or leaving."

I bring home a six-figure income - well into six figures - and I get the impression I am "more of a $$$ check" and boy-Friday (I fix most of the stuff that breaks around the house) - she has had a new car ever since we have been married (well, after the first four years) and "doesn't have to take a calculator to the grocery to make sure she can pay" at the cashier. We married mid 30s - no kids together. Both of us 2nd go - both kids from first. All self sufficient and healthy.

She has not said any words to the effect she is unhappy and "around the house" acts happy. (reasonably)

 

[ShatteredKat]

Posted a text about 50 minutes ago - nor reply - and "what is she doing" - anything I can think of is conjecture

 

[Anastasia6]

Posted a text about 50 minutes ago - nor reply - and "what is she doing" - anything I can think of is conjecture

Ok so your first text was the middle of the night and she hasn’t responded.

so she could be asleep. Where does the phone show she is.

 

[Openminded]

My guess is when she responds she’s going to say he had medical complications or something reasonable sounding so she needed to be there. Her history is not to always respond so she’ll say she didn’t think it would be a concern. Why have you stayed if this is a habit you don’t like — not a dealbreaker until now?

 

[ShatteredKat]

No idea if she is asleep and that would be unusual as she her "clock" is 9AM to 2AM next morning usually.
Phone shows no change in location since 5:46 PM Thursday.