WH decided he doesn't want a divorce! The man cannot make up his mind and i keep doubting his reasons. He says that he wants a family yet won't quit, his EA is with a coworker. He has thought of her sexually, and he says this ain't about her. It's about our issues. He's rewriting history, sometimes completely inventing stuff. He sees me as unaccomplished and unsuccessful. He has been griping to people I exposed him to about my character and how I view life etc.and basically saying that for the duration of relationship he hasn't been able to talk to me and therefore he cheated. Just a load of mostly crap with a grain of truth I'm sure. He makes me literally not like him and even hate him. I know it's part of the fog, but how does one move forward with all of the damage? Like both parties have done their share of damage. Him with the affair and handling everything afterward and me with my bad reaction to both. Just don't see how R is possible, and have been thinking about those who have done it successfully, and how they have done it. Thanks. ETA: To clarify: I am not saying we are ready for R or that it is what I want. I'm just asking how people get to R when all this damage is there. How do you decide it's what you want and how do you get over all this hurt?